I lied.

I know this will never reach your eyes, and it's not my intention for it to. I don't intend to change where we are now, because we were poisonous. How ever, I spent a long time wanting validity from you. I know you lied to me, and I know you never cared about me, but I just wanted to hear it from your mouth. I also spent quite a little while hurt because of what happened. I am happy in my life now, but going through that was very painful for me.

I saw you probably a week or two ago. I don't know what you were doing back in town, and I'm sure you didn't even recognize me. I look really different now. I had gone so long without you so much as crossing my mind till that point. The only time I ever thought of you was when my friends brought you up in conversation, which fizzled out after you left for the military. But I had a moment where I realized, I lied to you too. I lied to you in a way that I thought was acceptable, and of course I know now that it was not. And in a strange way, I feel like realizing that gave me the validity I needed all along. It's hard to explain, and a part of me wishes I could tell you, but I know you don't want to ever hear from me. And I'm totally ok with that. I just really needed to let it out.

I re-read our last conversation on Facebook, and I still think its strange you think I hate you. I forgave you a very long time ago for what you did to me, I just needed validation. I have changed so much, I honestly don't think you would even know me if you saw me on the street. I'm not the girl you knew, and I really like the new me. I just wish I could tell the old you...not the version of you that lied to me. But things change and life goes on. Just like I will continue to go on. I'm not some broken little girl anymore.

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