I'm just so confused and hurt!

I was talking with my brother, aunt and mom about how my parents were in Germany before they came to America and stuff and my mom said something that caught my attention. I asked her to repeat it, and she didn't even say it again. instead my brother told me. He said that I could've had a second older brother, but my parents had him aborted.

What confuses me is why they couldn't have waited for a few more months and let him live. Maybe they could have given him for adoption at least. I'm also really hurt because NO ONE HAS EVER TOLD ME THIS!!! It's like they didn't want me to find out. Also, I remember my parents always saying that their relatives wanted them to abort me when I was a fetus. Why did they decide to keep me instead of my could-have-been older brother?

I know a lot of secrets here are claimed to be "fake" but this happened literally this morning.... I just don't know what to do. My mom says it's her deepest regret, but I don't know how to forgive her. I could've had a second brother for crying out loud! (I'm only 16, but I still believe that everyone should have a chance at living). I'm just really hurt at this new discovery because my own PARENTS didn't even tell me. My brother had to. And everyone was so nonchalant about it two seconds after it sank in.

Just... any advice on how to cope would help a lot. Thanks for reading, I guess....


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  • Meh? Who cares? Lot bigger stuff to get your panties in a twist. Just be glad it wasn't you.

  • i totally agree... thats awfull

  • Sounds like you're more angry that your parents didn't tell you this information sooner. What's done was done, you can't go back. Your parents had their reasons for aborting the child. Without talking with them, you don't truly know the circumstances. Maybe your mom or the baby had health issues. People have lives before they have children..and they also have secrets. They may not have shared with you because of how you would react to the information. Maybe they were waiting for the right time to tell you. Maybe it's still too painful to talk about. Given that you now know, it's time for you to talk to them about this. As for coping, once you have all the information you can start to process this. Remember to respect their choices and not to take anything personally. You're here for a reason. Ignore what the relatives said. And jad your brother survived, your parents may not have had a 3rd child.

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