Girl at park

I am married to what would seem like the perfect wife, she works and makes a lot of money, Is very good to me, very organized, loving, a great mom, I stay home with my youngest son and in online school part time. We met at the end of college, moved in together, got married and had the most amazing wedding. It has been 7 years and I know that I love her, but I'm not, in love, with her. We have 2 amazing boys together, and what would seem like a perfect life. We live in a private gated community with manicured lawns, nice cars, we have 2 Lexus's, and are well off. We don't get a lot of time together so we have grown apart.....I have wanted our relationship to work out, but I feel nothing when we kiss or are intimate. We have a park close by that I have been taking my youngest son too, the older one is in school, and there's a mom, prob early 30's, like me, that is so easy to talk too, and so freaking gorgeous. She bring her youngest son to the park too, and seems like instantly we start talking, and next thing you know we've been swinging our kids for like a half hr or more, finishing eachothers sentences, and cheeks hurting from laughing so hard. She seems to be interested, I noticed one day she wasn't wearing makeup and was dressed casually, I hadn't been there the week prior b/c my boys were sick, the next day, she had make-up, tight little jogging pants, and a sexy sports shirt on..........completely opposite of my wife.......I mean this girl seems like a dream.

So do I, Pursue the girl and see where it leads or do I try to make things work till the boys are older, I'm so confused.......Aaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • I have had similar situations to this one. Listen, being "in love" with your wife is not the ultimate objective. Choose to pursue loving actions toward her, talk to a trusted friend about the woman at the park and realize that if you were to divorce your wife your life would not look the way you would want it to. You would have to divide money, other assets, your children, friends, family loyalties . . . this woman at the park looks good because she is simple. You don't know her, she doesn't know you in real-life situations. You haven't had to clean up kid vomit together or figure out the bills. She dressed up for you because she wants to gain your attention--be careful.

    I am a 34 year old woman and I have almost gone down the road you are describing. It's very tempting. But it is never what it seems.

    Also, consider this . . . you might be trying to regain some control in your life. Maybe you want something that is "your own." You mentioned your wife is controlling, so that might make sense. Take control of the situation and invest in those things that are profitable in terms of your family relationships.

  • So, this is what I'm getting from this. You're a bum who thinks about cheating on his wife who basically gives him a nice life and gave him two beautiful kids on top of that. You know what, maybe you SHOULD leave her because it sounds to me like she deserves better.

  • Ok, so the latest update is that the past two days she wasn't at the park, and the other night, my wife and I had very passionate s**, but the whole time I was thinking about this girl, I can't get her outta my head, I just want to see her again, we have such good chemistry, and even if it stays as a 'park flirt' I'm ok with that, b/c I don't want to ruin anything, at least right now.....I still wanna see what type of relationship this will turn out to be...We are going to the park tomorrow, then on Monday again, so I will be updating....

  • I was in a similar situation when I was unemployed for a stretch and my wife was working. There were always one or two really good looking moms at the playground and there was one in particular I was very flirty with, just great chemistry. I made a move when we were hugging goodbye once and kissed her. She pushed me away and we had a long talk about how she flirted with me because it was fun and "safe" since we were both committed wih kids. The whole point of the playground flirt is to get a little excitement without risk. She avoided me from then on. It sounds like you need to leave your wife. Just don't bet on this girl

  • Listen,
    She might seem perfect because the only encounters you have with her are for a few hours at the park. She might be someone who p***** the bed, has night farts, has genital warts, or for all you know be a pathological liar. You probably just see her as your "idea" woman right now because she represents a reason to leave your unhappy marriage. My dad did the SAME thing to my mom and realized the woman he left her for wasn't as ideal as he originally thought. He just needed a scape goat, like you.
    Your wife obviously loves you if she hasn't kicked your bum ass out the house yet. She obviously doesn't need you.
    What you need to do is start getting your s*** together, make romantic gestures, even tell her she looks good once in a while! She can't be the only one making the effort to make the marriage work. You need to as well.
    If you give a f*** about your kid's well being, you would attempt to make the marriage work instead of acting like an immature kid by running off with some lady you wanna bone.
    Be a man, own up.

  • I have made my way, I went college, I earned my degree, broke away from my dad went on my own, I was in construction, worked for some major builders, then the market crashed, I couldn't find a job in that market, so I switched to public health, went back to school, worked for the county for a year and a half, but it wasn't paying the bills, it was actually cheaper to keep our boys home, then it was me working, somI have made my own, went out, and was providing for our family, while she went back to school......I wasn't spoon fed my whole life, I worked through college.......she knows I can run my own business, she likes the security of the corporate health care world, which I can understand, everyone is always gonna need health care......but at the same time, running my own business can be very lucrative, but also very risky, she is not a risky person..........I am gonna try and work things out with her, b/c I do love her, and when we're together by ourselves we have so much fun........I'm not a cheater and never have been, I can honestly say that I have never cheated on any girl I've ever dated.............but I also want to see what this girl is all about, maybe she doesn't think the same way about me, I don't know, but what I do know is that she is easy to talk to, friendly, gorgeous, blonde hair, blue eyes, is sporty, loves watching football......I have always said and promised my wife, that if I ever found someone else, that I would be honest with her and let her know.......so that's where I'm at now........will keep updated.

  • So let me understand this correctly, you're a stay at home Dad who is in on-line school "part-time."

    You have a lot of material things, which either comes from your wife's efforts or your parents past business.

    You want to have your own business. Doing what exactly? To this point have you EVER made your own way? Showed your own ambition and drive? Maybe she's reluctant because she doesn't think you can do it. Have you EVER achieved in your own merits?

    My Dad had his own business. BEST thing he ever did was not get us involved with it because it forced me to have my own plans and ambitions. Have you ever REALLY worked hard for something? Then you question your wife who goes out and keeps you in your lifestyle.

    You complain about your marriage lacking spark, but what do you expect? No matter how much a woman says she's ok with being the main source of income, she STILL wants a man who you know - acts like a man and earns for his family.

    Now, you want to have an affair? I think you need to rent the movie "The Godfather." Pay close attention to the scene in the beginning where Don Corleone is talking to Johnny Fontane. That scene right there pretty much sums up what you need to do and what someone should do to you.

    Sorry to be brutal, but from what I've read, you think you're owed something. Have you worked to earn it? Forget the affair, you're lucky she doesn't toss you out to earn you own way in the world. Stop playing "part-time" online and get your life moving - like a MAN.

  • To the first commenter, I know what you're saying, but honestly for the past 3 years or so are relationship has been a little rocky, we've had arguments where I would leave for a couple hours or would sleep on the couch.......I'm not in love with her anymore, even if it weren't for the girl at the park, I have still been thinking about leaving.......I feel that she is trying to control me.....and has been since day 1, I was just so in love that I didn't see it. Now that we've grown apart, I have a clear picture of what's going on. She manages all the finances, I have to call her about every purchase I make, or where I am at all times......I'm just getting sick of it, and when she gets home from work, she always has me watch the boys, which I do all day, b/c I stay at home. She is even trying to tell me which career I need to do, I had grown up in a family business and have always dreamed about having my own business, but she wants me to do something else. I'm very good at both occupations, but I want my own business and I know it can work and make me lots of money............I know from my own parents that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.........my mom left my dad after 30+ yrs of, what seemed like the perfect marriage.........growing up we were involved in church and had the 'all American life'.......money wasn't an issue, we weren't rich, but we weren't poor, like upper middle class......we went on vacations like 4 times a year, each time to a new place.........so with my mom leaving my dad, I have a whole different view of marriage......we were a Christian family with good morals and values, but that seemed to be all shoved to the waste side...........Im so confused, I want to work things out, they aren't bad, but could be better........on the other hand, this girl at the park is driving me crazy, I've always said if I found a girl like her, I wouldnt pass up the opportunity......she seems perfect in every way......

  • No talk to your wife...the grass is not always greener and it would be a mistake. If your feeling that way ur wife might be too. Marriage is not easy and do you feel your wife deserve that. Think it through and pray.

  • This is wise and sage advice. You are so well-established, just think of what dumping that down the drain would mean. I almost did it with a woman and now she is going down the drain and that was 7 years ago. I am so grateful I have my wife, that she stayed with me through that tough time, and now we are closer together than we have ever been in 18 years of marriage. Prayer is also a powerful thing. I don't usually tell people this, but I believe in miracles. I experienced one a few months ago. I have chronic back pain (3 operations in all, heading in for a 4th). One night I told my wife I'd rather be dead, my back hurt so badly and the pain that radiated down one leg. Unbeknownst to me, our little 8 year old daughter was in the corner. She began to cry and cried herself to sleep on hearing this news. But not before she went into the bathroom and offered a simple child-like prayer. Suddenly and instantly, my pain in my leg was gone. It has never returned, and I was about to blow my brains out after two months of it. I could tell more, but this is the basic. Think about the kids' problems (in situations where a father isn't in the home, or it's a stepfather ("You're not my real dad and can't tell me what to do!") often there are problems; not that it's the fault of single months; it's just statistically bad is what I'm saying). Think and pray.

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