I want a divorce
It has reached the point that I need to divorce my wife. She is an alcoholic and it has ruined our lives, she has given up on wanting children and as her drinking has gotten worse I have come to realize that (even though she promised she would stop drinking if we had a kid) she will not be a good mother to any children we have.
We have been fighting for the past several months. We have talked divorce over and over. And I have recently decided it is time to throw in the towel.
Now I am not sure of my next steps. I have set no money aside for a lawyer or even filing fees. We are broke, like down to a pack of hot dogs and bread for the next few weeks as our debt has become insane.
The last time that I even suggested that I agreed with her that we should divorce, she just attacked me over and over verbally, coming up with anything she could come up with to tear me down. She has physically abused me a few times. Not that I couldn't defend myself, but I'm not going to hit a woman and when it reaches that point, I just don't care anymore. It helps for closure the more she does it.
I know that if I try to get a divorce and we are still living together, I will live in misery. We have no friends because she attacks anyone who comes close. I have slept in my truck many nights to get away.
Money has gotten so bad that we are downsizing to a smaller house, but our main house has not yet rented so we have two mortgages. We cannot move into the smaller house for another month. At that point, at least there is an exit.
I plan on going to Iraq to get a job to help pay for IRS bills since I had to cash out my retirement to help keep us afloat, which comes with heavy penalties. I will make decent money in Iraq but when we spoke about divorce before she has talked about dragging the divorce out for a year so that she could benefit from the money I make out there.
If I had enough for a lawyer and a place to go, I would be out today. We are in a slow period of being cordial but those days have been getting shorter and fewer. The next time she hits the bottle it will not be pretty.