Am I insecure about my girlfriend?
My girlfriend and I are in our 50's, and have a long distant relationship. We live 120 miles apart and usually see each other on the weekends. She is an independent, spirited lady. She is self-employed and has many male clients. More than once I have questioned about some of her clients.Not badgering, just asking if she is involved with any of them.She laughs it off, and says she doesn't get involved with her clients. In August I looked at one of her texts, and saw a text from someone asking if she wanted to see his pics. I asked her about it, and she said he was the lawn boy of one of her clients. She said he wanted to be a model, and she was trying to line him up with some other work she does. I didn't have cause for concern until 3 months later I saw a text where he said a massage would be nice, and she had plans to take him out to eat for his birthday. He is 30 yrs. old. Up to this time she has kept him under wraps from me. She never brings up his name to me, and never talks to him on the phone when I am around. She also changed his name in her phone to try and hide her transactions with him. She lied to me when I asked who this person was in her phone list, when it was him. I became upset, and told her it looks guilty to lie to me. She said she did because she didnt want to be badgered by me about him. I told her the secretiveness was not right, and looked bad. She said he was just a friend, and she grew up with many brothers and didnt feel it was wrong. She said if I hadn't badgered about her clients, she would have felt comfortable to not hide him from me. We have been together 3 yrs., and most the questions I had about other men were early on in the relationship. Other than her lying and concealing her friendship with him, I have had no reason not to trust her. She thinks its my problem because of my insecurity. She said it was ok to lie to avoid being hassled. I told her secrets and lying were bad for a relationship. I really dont feel like I ever badgered her? Just asked about someone once in awhile, and that was long ago. Am I sabotaging the relationship with insecurity, or is she helping make me uneasy? Also I asked her why she talked freely about her other male clients to me, and behaved like this man didnt even exist? I feel like its a "don't ask;don't tell" thing Im dealing with?