lately my boyfriend has been making me

lately my boyfriend has been making me so f****** upset. when we argue, he overreacts, everything's "always" or "never." i "never" do anything he wants to do. he "always" does things for me. it's not true. i cook for him, i give him head every f****** day (at least), i keep our condo absolutely beautiful. i'm supportive even though he lives off of his family's money and i don't really respect that. he's spoiled! he says I'M SPOILED! we're both spoiled.

i guess that's not really the confession, though. lately when we argue he throws things. not at me, but around me, and the noises scare me. the violence of it scares me - flipping tables, yelling, calling me names. we're arguing but it just seems to really scare me. i just immediately freeze and i spend the rest of the day sleeping because it hurts to be around him. the other 85% of the time, he's an absolute prince. he's thoughtful, he brings me things, he buys me everything i want, i don't have to do anything but... cook, give him b*******, and clean. he's respectful of my wishes for the most part and i have really high standards.

i don't know if i should break up with him. i don't know if i'm conditioned (by feminism, or my mother, or whatever) to just run away immediately at any sign of anger manifested in physical/loud ways. sometimes i wonder if i deserve better - then i look at my beautiful home, my beautiful things, and my completely spoiled and indulged life and i don't think i do. i mean, so many people are struggling, this is a sure thing, and i'm the first girl he's ever loved so maybe he has to iron out some of these problems.

i'm afraid that someday i'll regret my decision to stay. i'm afraid that one day it will escalate to shoving, or hitting, or beating and i'll use my "beautiful things/life/home" argument. i don't think he will, but the fact that i don't know for sure just really bothers me. i don't know if i'm overreacting. i don't know if i should leave him. if he knew that i was feeling this way his heart would be broken.

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  • I think you answered your own question as to whether you should break up with him or not.If any man hits you FOR ANY REASON leave.It will only get worse.

  • I am in a similar situation, and I know if my boyfriend ever got physical with me, I would leave his ass. I grew up with an abusive step-father, so that is one thing I KNOW will never stop once it starts and continue to get worse. When my bf gets mad he does some of the same things your does, and I ussually end up getting more angry, and from there the situation escalates, but I have never been scared he will hit me, so I keep pushing, and pushing. Maybe one of these days he will knock my lights out!

  • You are in an abusive relationship with not a man, but a spoiled little boy. You are subject to his immaturity, and life is too short to hang around for all the 'pretty things' you're surrounded by. Part of an abusive relationship is to convince you that everything is your fault, and to have you second guessing and doubting yourself. Trust me, he will NOT change, as he wil probably promise to do. Find a solid anchor, a new and healthy place from which to live your life, be that a trusted family member or friend...the key is to shoot for 'HEALTHY'...real love doesn't hurt like it does for you right now...(from experience...) Good luck

  • I think the relationship is unhealthy at this point and you need to dicuss these issues with him, see if you he will be willing to make a mutual effort to change the way you two fight/communicate. If he's not receptive, you should leave him, because no "nice things" are worth losing your peace of mind.

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