I do this to myself

Okay so I want to start off saying, this confession is no-one elses fault. I choose to do this to myself, I just need to tell someone. Okay, so when I was 8 I used to starve myself because, people around me would always call me fat. Even my own father did. At 8 I used to weigh 120 lbs. After I started starving myself I almost emmediantly dropped down to 75 lbs. So within a matter of just a month, possibly slightly less, I ended up loosing 45 lbs. I was 8 so I didn't find a problem with it. I weighed the least out of my 2 step-sisters, who were both older than me. After I lost that weight, I mantained it for a good 2 years. Then I started gaining again because I moved back with my mom, and she forced me to eat. So now, I am 13 and weigh 160 lbs. I went back to starving myself again. I want that 75 lbs back. I tell my brother that I put myself on a diet, and am working on loosing the weight. He believes me. I know if I tell him he will get mad with me, and make me eat. I don't want to eat. Half of the reason I don't eat is because it also makes me sick, no matter what time of day it is. I make sure I at least have something small in my stomach that way it doesn't look like I starve myself when I am around people. But, when I am alone I eat absolutely nothing. When I get home form shool, I go straight to my room to avoid any questions of what I want dor dinner. About 3 hours later I come out, and eat 2 teaspoons of peanutbutter, drink a tiny bit of milk, and I am right back in my room. Come dinner time, I get my own food that way I can make it look like I am eating, but, I am really eating very little. None of my family knows what I do to myself, and hopefully they don't find out. When I go down to my mom's house, I act like I don't feel good at all that way I don't have to eat. My mom doesn't suspect anything because, I haven't starved myself in so long. Well, this is basically all I have to confess right now. I just needed to get something off my chest for right now. Again, this is no-ones fault why I do this. I choose to do this to myself, because I am selfconscience about myself. But, thanks for reading this, and hopefully some of you out there will understand where I am coming from.

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  • Ur a bad case u need help

  • You shouldn't do that. You will eventually become self conscience of yourself when you become just skin and bones. To lose all your muscle mass and good body fat don't look all that healthy and attractive either. Eat a well healthy balanced diet, enjoy life. If you gain 160. that is a healthy weight based on your height. 120 lbs for an 8 year old is still healthy. Starving yourself will only cause sleep deprivation,health problems,the lost or decay of teeth, headaches,stomach aches, malnutrition, muscle deficiency,hair loss,depression and much, much more go online and see the pictures. Don't let what anyone say's about your weight bog you down. If they poked fun, they were just insecure themselves to begin with.

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