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Insecurity?
Every time I do something wrong, even if its just an accident or something simple, I beat myself up for it. Like if I bump into someone in the hall I tell myself that I'm a bad person. Sometimes it gets so bad that I just tell my self to die or repeat kill me over and over again. And when I say sorry i usually repeat it until someone tells me to stop. So i was wondering if anyone else went through the same thing and if anyone had any advice. And is this some insecurity thing?
I'm going through the exact same! One night it got really bad because I'm such a terrible rider and I constantly beat myself up for not trying harder (Sort of the same) and I had a moment of sort of blacking out and when I regained control I realised I was trying to climb onto the roof :\ Since then I have seen a councellor and it made things a little better, which is good but then I stopped cuz my 'friends' were being mean about it :( You're not alone x
Sounds like just low self esteem/insecurities...which everyone has. You are not alone. People just have different ways of dealing with it or showing it. Maybe the constant apologizing may border on an ocd. From now on, if you do something that warrants an apology say it once and then move on. Let it be, don't dwell and most importantly don't be so ** yourself.