Adult Criminal Stepson Better Watch Out...

Last year I notified Crime Stopper tips about my adult stepson. His narcissistic mother raised & enabled him. The sob story is that his parents got divorced. Well, he had a lot of help about that. And he had unconditional love from me, the stepmother for YEARS. Years of abuse, lying, stealing, mind games. He's had so many "second chances"I've lost track.

One of SS's many manipulative techniques is to claim he doesn't want to be reminded of the past because, just right now, he's changed! A few months later, he'll admit that back when he "changed" he was really still doing drugs/dealing/whatever but NOW he has "changed" and will throw a petulant fit if anyone holds him responsible for the "past." A few months later yet, oh, he might allow that his life hadn't yet reached the ideal state he'd claimed months earlier, but NOW...you get the idea. The one consistency: he's never responsible.

A few weeks after the Crime Stopper tip-off, SS just happened to want to move to his mother's house, in a big show of Transformed POS. But he comes back to his old place often enough...to visit friends, do deals, whatever.

I saw a photo of SS today and I felt pure rage. Can't stand him, and I'm PO'd at myself for giving him so many chances.

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  • Here's something else for the person who identifies with my stepson: What's this business of my "remembering" that I'm "only" a stepmother? What? I'm also a human being! And I'm protected by the same laws that protect you and everyone else. Since I'm not "real" family, why should I be a doormat for this adult? Also, this young adult hasn't told me anything "in confidence." He lies and manipulates. I know what he's doing because I see it for myself, and he's brought gang members to my home.

  • First off if the love was unconditional he wouldn't have "had" it he'd "have" it and talking to the crime stoppers about your stepson is a real d********* move . .Especially if its with information he told you in confidence. That would be f***** up . Number two if your the stepmother why are you assuming so much responsibility? It's not like you raised this child from infancy or adopted him..the key word here is step...and we need to remember that...thirdly why is he selling drugs? And how do you know he's selling drugs? Did he sell you drugs? Did drug addicts come knocking on your door ? Or are you just assuming he deals because the police gave him a bullshit charge for an 1/8th of weed..that's not enough to deal..that's enough to smoke and if he has his own place why are yu worried he's obviously in need does he have a pregnant girlfriend or something?...and have you told your step son that you love him lately cuz from the looks of this you don't love him at all...he needs to know that.....it isn't fair to him...he needs to know who loves him. Sounds like he's got a lot of fake people around him..I feel bad for this kid ..he sounds like me

  • As the stepmother, I'd like to respond to the person who writes that he/she feels bad for this kid.

    First, the stepson isn't a kid--he's an adult. Second, I've told him I love him often, not that he's entitled to my love. Loving someone does not mean being someone's doormat. I don't know what "unconditional love" means to you, but to me it means that you continue to love someone no matter what. I do that. I don't do victimhood. Third, I wasn't responsible for raising him--his mother was. I contend she set a poor example by the way she treated others and the way she instilled an attitude of entitlement in her son. Fourth, whether or not you consider calling Crimestoppers a "douchebag move," my action has probably saved his life. He responded to the police interest by first moving from his former place to a lower-crime area and then getting a full time job--his first real job after years of supporting himself by crime.

    I guess I hit a nerve with you. But I assure you, this young adult, who's plenty old enough to go to jail and has committed enough crime to belong there, isn't just dealing small amounts of dope. Or wasn't--perhaps he's stopped his criminal ways now the police have been onto him (thanks to me) and he's got a full-time job. Whether or not you're like him, I assure YOU, however, that other people have rights. When you, or anyone, steps on those rights, other people have the right to call the police. My stepson was part of a violent criminal network, people who beat up and even killed others. I have the right to protect myself. I also have the right to protect my property. (He's stolen hudreds of dollars from me and through vandalizing has damaged thousands of dollars of property.) He's also stolen from others. You think that he's "got a lot of fake people" around him. I for one haven't been fake. He, however is a fake--he lies and manipulates to con others. He doesn't have self-respect and as a result isn't capable of much love.

  • I can't stand people like that. My brother-in-law is headed down the same path, he's cocky and thinks he knows EVERYTHING. It's pretty sad.

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