Thrift store happenings

The other day I saw some rare collector's items in the window of a thrift store that was closed. They were being sold at a price that suggested the store clearly had no idea of their actual value. A collector's jackpot! Excited, I waited until they opened the next Monday and hopped inside to purchase them before somebody else got their hands on them. I also noticed some collectable cards nearby for sale, so I picked them up. While browsing around I thought it would be a hoot if I could just tuck the cards inside the box that the collectable item came in, and see if I could get them out the door without paying for them. If they found them, I would just say, truthfully, that I tucked them in there so they wouldn't get lost, and then forgot about them -- which is what happened originally. I don't shoplift often, I just thought this would be amusing, a private little joke. I also stuck them between the pages of a couple books I bought.

When I got up to the counter, my items totaled about 11 or 12 dollars. The lady charged me $2 plus tax. I shut my mouth before letting out a protest or asking her to make sure that was right, because a: I was in the midst of money problems and really wanted these things, and it would be better for my wallet this way, and b: the thrift store was run by a Christian organization, and I didn't feel bad at all for effectively stealing from them. Including the cards, which the lady never saw at all. A place like this is almost certain to help fund anti-gay legislation, anti-abortion, and other such things that directly affect me as a GLBT person who has a functioning uterus. It was awesome to get out of there paying effectively nothing for these rare items, and avoiding contributing to political campaigns against people like me. I don't feel any kind of remorse for this. It was great.

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  • Feel No Guilt . You presented your Goods to the Counter and Paid the fee considered Relevant ..Forget the Causes this place represents ..Completely Irrelevant .

    JUST make sure you sell the Collectables for the Max Profit ..Sell quickly , turn to Cash .

  • Sell them? Are you kidding? I'm keeping these suckers until I have no more interest. Which will hopefully be forever. They're too awesome to sell. =)

  • I'm glad you did that. No joke!

  • What God says....

    1 Cor 6:9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.

  • I am SOOO scared of your pretend god. Really. Shaking in my boots.

  • You're an a******, god also said to love you neighbor

  • Criminal. Thief. Moron. R*****.

  • You are clearly so much a better person than OP for using the r-word. Go f*** yourself.

  • You are truely a Wretched Soul.

    I hope you can survive the pain to come.

  • Your idea of karma, that people always get what they deserve, is inherently flawed. You think the universe agrees with you on who "deserves" what. You're wrong. People just get what they get and that's it.

  • Oompa-loompa doopity-doo. I've got another riddle for you:

    What do you get when your hipster is SMUG?
    Degenerate immoral like a common THUG
    Stealing from thrift stores to get cheap for free
    Setting back the cause of the GBLT
    Rudely rationalizing makes you a SLUG
    Pay in line like the rest of us do
    and you will live in happiness too
    Like the Oompa...Loompa..Fuckity YOU

  • I love the idea of you sitting here working SO H****** this angry self-righteous little poem. spending like half an hour working out the rhyme. good work son, good work

  • Oh yes, totally setting back GLBT people by this random $5 thing I did in secret that only random hipsters on this website know about. I feel so bad, I must atone for my sins.

  • "I don't shoplift often" Seriously? So how often do you shoplift? Once a month, twice a month, whenever you feel like the world 'owes' you a little something? 'Hey, that j*** cut me off in traffic, I think I'll go steal some lipstick to balance things out.' Am I close?

  • Wow! What a noble and upright pursuer and defender of human rights you are, stealing from an organization that sells goods -- perhaps at a loss (I've worked for one of them, so I know they either lose money or make next to nothing) -- to lower-income people in underprivileged areas. And to then come here and brag about the crime you've committed (not a "sort-of" crime, or a metaphorical crime, but an actual one, and maybe even a felony, depending on the value of the items you stole). And you do all this ANONYMOUSLY! I believe there's a word for people like you. And I believe that word is "chickenshit".

  • You mad. Also, calm your t***; they're collectable toys, not government information. Also also, totally not my fault if the cashier completely ignored the very obvious price stickers on the items and gave me a random price cheaper than what they were actually supposed to be. Clearly she did not care. Or was being nice. Either way, I was happy to come into such a situation.

  • "I thought it would be a hoot if I could just tuck the cards inside the box that the collectable item came in, and see if I could get them out the door without paying for them." "I don't shoplift often, I just thought this would be amusing, a private little joke." Shoplifting, which you confessed to twice, is stealing: not a private little joke. Your rationalizations may comfort you, but they don't change the nature of what you did, and what you did was commit a crime. Q.E.D.

  • You jaywalk?

  • Your level of self-delusion and deflection is really astonishing.

  • That's what people say when they have no rebuttal. Also: clearly you do jaywalk. That makes you a criminal, you know that right? It's ~*~a crime~*~.

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