I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired if my life

I can't handle school anymore. No one likes me and they act as if I didn't exist. The only 2 friends I have treats me like s*** because of the things they found out about me and it's obviously that they don't like me anymore (I don't know if they ever did), but I can't "end" my friendship with them because we have a lot of projects in groups in my school, and I'd rather do it with them than by myself. And it's awful to be by yourself in my school.
At home the situation is not pleasant as well. It's not that bad as it was years ago, but I still wish I wasn't alive.
All the pressure I've been getting because of college and my grades only makes things worse.
I started to cut again and developed anorexia this holidays and I just can't eat and people at school started to make fun of me and it's so f****** annoying and I can't let my parents find out. If they do they will say that I'm just another teenager that seeks attention and that I'm worthless, annoying and never take consideration for the love they gave me.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't even think I want to get better. It would be nice if I could just disappear. I tried to think positive for this past 3 years and always got out of my depressive moments, but I don't think I can do this this time.

Aug 11, 2013

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