I am so much more

I'm so much more than anyone knows. None of my coworkers have a clue, none of my friends know except one who has a similar situation going on. Even my partner truly doesn't plumb the depths of who I am. He somehow isn't super fascinated by the MASSIVE universes in my head, but that's alright with me. I like having privacy.

No one really knows of the truly splendid, magnificent places and people I have met who live inside my head. It's a whole world, a series of worlds, a universe, inside other universes. I'm pretty sure it's just in my head, but who knows, maybe it's some other place that I somehow have contact with through my mind only. Like a dream world. Who knows. I don't care how it works, I enjoy it and strive to make art depicting it every day. Everyone thinks my art is just cool pictures, but really it is the details of a reality they will never be able to comprehend, one that is just as real as this one. The only difference is that it's within, not without.

I have friends, associates, relationships there. People and beings I work with on a professional level, I help you if you help me sort of thing. Regular humans are a minority inside my head, most beings are some variety of animal or monster or creature, whathaveyou. But there are plenty of humans.

There are vast worlds that I have nothing to do with. They seem to just develop on their own. I've never "been" there, a friend of mine who I know from "home" who was travelling visited that place and told me about it. It's so amazing.

I am so many people and beings and places. I am a universe -- no, many universes! And none of you will ever go there, ever see the amazing things I've seen!

None of you will learn to love the darkness the way this place has taught me. Not to fear monsters, not to mistrust demons or tricksters. I have learned that I myself am a monster in this world, and it's just fine.

Every day in my "real" life I go about my day with a secret smile, because the people around me think I'm just a regular ol' boring human, but I have the key to a million wonderful, beautiful secrets, and a lot of dark, hidden ones, too. And they'll never, EVER know the joy of them! Only me! What a gift.

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  • So amused that almost of you have nothing to say but "you're crazy" or "you're on drugs". i've never taken a drug in my life besides moderate alcohol. no one has the least idea of what it is like to be so full of people and places that no one else can see unless you let them. but let me tell you, it's just about the best thing ever.

  • yes, most people who have created alternate realities are quite pleased with them . . . . . . . because they have created them to fit their own desires and to fulfill the wish to be their own God. you are not creative or artistic or fanciful or imaginative. you are sick.

  • Oh, certainly not god. I have a lot less power than you might think in my universe. Power doesn't mean to me what it must mean to you. I don't have interest in controlling lives or any such silly thing. Things happen and people's lives develop of their own accord, and I'm only made aware of them later. It's like reading the newspaper of another universe. I'm only acquainted with about 1% of the people in my head. It's just awesome to have something like this. Sorry you'll never experience it.

  • whack-job.

  • There's a word for people who can't deal with true reality and thus invent their own: "insane".

  • are those prescription drugs or street drugs?

  • WTF???!?

  • I cannot match the depth and breadth of your imagination but have sufficient understanding of the creative process to appreciate the level of genius it takes to do what you're describing. Like a chess player able to appreciate the skill of a grandmaster without the ability to play at that level themselves. I'd really love to see some of your art, is it available for sale online?

  • Would that i could show you, but to sign my name here would give away my identity. you'll find my universes if you look in the right places.

  • Of course, my apologies. Create a fake e-mail account and send a list of about a dozen sites like your own to studentofsmith@gmail.com I might suspect which one is yours but I'll have no way of being certain and wouldn't share it with these philistines anyway.

  • That must be some REALLY good weed!

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