Biological clock ticking

I'm here because I have no where else to go, nobody to talk to about my deepest need. Every fiber of my body craves and demands a baby. I have two kids already and never felt this urge to have a baby. I thought I did but i didnt. I can't stop thinking about a baby, I feel incomplete without this baby, at night laying in bed I get phantom kicks in my stomach (but I can literally feel them when I put my hand on my stomach and "catch" them.

I have a long term of three years boyfriend that I was head over heels for. We owned a house and two businesses together and were financially stable enough to expand our family. I had been dealing with my baby needs secretly until I felt comfortable enough to approach my boyfriend about this two years into our relationship. It wasnt a spur of the moment decision for me. I'd been thinking about it 6 months prior to dropping it on the table. I came at him very genuinely, sincerely and gently. It was hard exposing myself with something that made me feel very vulnerable.

He rejected me in the most awful ways, with anger and spite and even called my parents (I'm 27 mind you) to tell them I'm wanting to get pregnant. Which is something I would have needed to sit down and work into a conversation with them about. He yelled at me and told me that he was too old to think about having baby's (this was last year and hes 44). He wants to travel an basically doesn't want to be tied down again now that his kids are almost grown. I understand completely. It devastated me and has torn my emotional well being to shreds. Further down the road in a fight he had said to me "I don't want a baby with you, I would have a baby with anybody BUT you!" To hurt me and it did.

I've never felt the same about him again. I couldn't get those feelings of happiness and head over heels in love again. I tried for a year more to get over it. Pictures of baby's tear me up, Im jealous of pregnant and new moms, I can't look at my Facebook feed when one of my friends is pregnant or has a new baby. I get sick to my stomach with sadness when anything baby related crosses my path.

I feel so incomplete without this baby. I feel like this baby is ingrained into me and I love him or her and they're not even more than a thought.

I want to leave my boyfriend over it even though I love him. I just feel like my needs and wants for a baby are never going to be fulfilled by him and I can't bare a lifetime with someone that didnt want to give me what I desperately needed from him.

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  • Listen... your body and hormones are controlling you right now and making you irrational. Baby rabies happens. Please don't make a huge mistake. Do everything in your power to be in control of yourself. Don't get preggers in a bad situation. Don't mess up good relationships because of irrational desires. Your bodyis making you crave something that you might not actually enjoy once the hormones go away.

  • I totally understand your need because I am a guy who really wants a baby.Let me just knock you up so that you can have your baby and he can learn that his selfish mentality does not determine your destiny.You sound mentally and emotionally drained but this is an over you can take to your womb any day you get ready and more so if you have an interest in a black man.Create an email for this purpose,post it here and I will contact you asap.In any case,I wish you the best in everything.

  • Your boyfriend sounds like a gigantic controlling and selfish douchebag. Sorry. Being 27 and in a committed relationship and thinking about a future that would include children is totally normal. And he called your parents to tell on you? Really? I don't get that. You're an adult. You're capable of making your own life decisions. That's great he had his children, but you haven't. And if you stay with him longer, you'll never get to. Why are you make such a a huge compromise for this man? I get that you love him, but seriously he sounds worse than an overbearing father. He talks to you horribly and uses things against you. He's cruel. He sounds like the child. Breaking up may be really difficult, but you would see you would be happier to find a man who wants the same things you do. And when you start your search, be really clear that you are only looking for men who are marriage minded who want children. Then you won't find yourself in this position again. Don't settle for anything less.

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