My husband just dropped a bomb on me yesterday that he feels numb towards me. That we are just going through the motions since we got engaged. I'm so lost and I don't know how to fix it. :(

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  • You either fix it by understanding why he feels this way and work on it or you decide that being in a failed marriage isn't for you.
    His issues could be numerous. At the point where you got engaged was he happy in where his life had taken him? Did he have feelings of not being what he wanted? Was there a previous relationship that he never quite got over? Sometimes getting engaged or married represents a psychological admission of "failure" and the person they are with becomes the "object" associated with that lack of getting what they wanted from life.
    He needs to seek the help of a professional to sort through his feelings and come clean to you on why he feels this and why he didn't show enough respect for you to allow you happiness.
    That's the question you need to answer for yourself- what price is your happiness? Is it being in a loveless marriage?

  • I'm trying to understand how he feels except he doesn't give me anything to go on. I suggested counseling and he was got really upset with me. I told him I'm going to continue to love him bc my feelings haven't changed. I right now I am trying to decide if I continue saying I love you to him or will that only worsen the situation.

  • Tiptoeing around the issue isn't working. Challenge him. Ask if he's so miserable why did he marry you? Force him to confront the issue.
    I would suggest something may have occurred to trigger this reaction and view now. Is there some change in his job? Is he not progressing in a career? He may be frustrated with the direction of his life and you are there to be vented on.
    He is unhappy for reasons that may go beyond just being married to you - if that's the underlying reason at all.

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