In too deep, but not deep enough

My confession is not something I am proud of but maybe just being able to publicly tell it will help me not feel so badly. At least telling it here I can remain obscure cause I would sure hate for family to find out that it’s me let alone what I have been doing.

I’ve been married now for about a year, I was 16 when I met my husband, in fact we were in HS together and by my seventeenth year our parents had given us permission to get married because I was pregnant. Being young and having no money and having no place to live we decided right after we got hitched we had to moved right in with his parents cause they had the room.

My honeymoon was in a furnished basement provided by my hubby’s parents which wasn’t too bad cause it’s a nice place.. clean too. Needless to say we had setup housekeeping with his mom and dad. We do everything they do, go almost everywhere they go, and watch TV together and play games, ect.. It’s been fun actually and they have made me feel so welcome and wanted outside my own family.

The sad thing is I had a miscarriage shortly before my 12th week and that was h****** me to have such a loss so young. Anyways my hubby was of little comfort to me cause all he could do was run and have fun with his friends, and my mother-n-law was always too busy with her work and life to spend any time with me.. I was depressed. Since my father-n-law had his own business and worked from home, he was a wonderful comfort to me. I didn’t realize it at first, but came to realize later that he is a very gentle man with a great personality. He would talk with me seriously and help me through my sadness always encouraging me and telling me how smart I was and how lucky my son was to have such a pretty wife, he made me feel like I was appreciated. Frequently he would tease me and make me laugh and I began to depend and look to him whenever I needed anything. He help me through my loss, and depression and I was very grateful because he was there for me.

My hubby and I seem to always be kinda distant after we lost the baby, but we got along good so that made things easier to continue our marriage, and since his parents were fine with us living there with them it kinda made it simpler not to look for a place of our own. I was glad actually because I felt safer and more secure with his dad around and being under his roof.

Here is the thing, I’ll just come right out with it, my father-n-law and I have been having an affair. We are doing it right under everybody’s nose and no one knows a thing about it. We only have s** whenever everyone else is occupied, which is quite often. My hubby is quite happy hanging with his friends, and his mom is always busy with her life and her job, that’s when we make quality time for each other sexually. The s** is awesome and he knows how to please me better than anyone I’ve had, even my husband. He introduced me to what it feels like to have o****** he has opened me up to so many things. My contribution which I happily offer to satisfy my father-n-law is my young body which he is totally addicted to. Life is so much more fulfilling with him, he’s a man, a real man, a caring man and I think I am in love with him because of those reasons I mentioned.

I am ashamed to say this, but I would dump my hubby in a heartbeat for his dad, I married the wrong man! No! I didn’t marry a man cause I never knew what a real man was until I met and lived with my father-n-law. If he would devoice his wife I would marry him in a second and make a life with him. At least then I’d know I would be loved and cared for.. I wish it would happen.

I know, call me a home wrecker, a s***, a cheater, a b****, a lousy wife.. You’re right I am all those things and I feel badly about it! I want to have a fulfilling and happy life and it’s right in front on me, but, it’s not up to me I don’t have the know how or the maturity to make it happen! It’s even crossed my mind to go off the pill and let my father-n-law f*** me pregnant maybe that would help, but I won’t cause that would be a trap and he’d be displeased with me. In too deep, but not deep enough is an understatement to say the least.

I don’t suppose there would be any intelligent suggestions out there that would help me to feel better an to get me on the right path.. would there?

47 Comments

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  • Divorce your husband.

  • Do you make love with your father-in-law more than with your husband?

  • Yes, for obvious reasons

  • I wish I was as bold with my f-i-l as you are with yours. Oh how I wish.

  • How does he treat you does he show any interest in you emotionally, or like to flirt at all?

  • I did the pregnancy thing. it was hard but it totally worked. i had been dating this older gentleman for over 2 yrs starting from when i was young and got tired of waiting out his marriage to end. so i let him knock me up but not telling him nothing. i went to his wife when he wouldn't go to her and told her he was leaving and coming with me. she said she knew about me and it was just a affair. she said he had did that before and always ends the relationships with the younger woman and comes home to her and their family. i said not this time and i showed her and him together the pregnancy results from the doctor. she booted him. and he came to me. and we have a 2yo daughter that is so beautiful and means everything to me and to him. i got really mean and his wife got destroyed from it but honestly she had it coming to her because she didn't deserved to be married to him anymore and so now shes not. she culdnt take care of him like i can. now its just me and him and our daughter. he wasn't my father in law but pregnancy works even if the babys father doesn't know what your up to. and he loves my baby way more than any of her babies. this is the way it is meant to be. its why god lets women make these decisions because we are better at love and we are much better at figuring out how relationships work. just do what your heart tells you to do with your father in law. actually........do what your body tells you to do with him. i think you probably already know whats best in your situation and i think you know that YOU are whats best for your father in law. you and your baby. i hope your pregnant soon.

  • F****** b****

  • Thanks <3

  • I'm 27 mwf but I was exactly your age when I became a homewrecker for the first time. That's what his wife and my parents and their friends and everyone called me, as well as the other words that you are concerned about, s***, b****, w****, c***, tramp, cooze, and all the rest. That first time was hard, I admit it. I felt bad and I let all those stupid stupid people (expecially his stupid wife) make me feel bad about myself. I spent four months -- FOUR MONTHS -- in a depression about it. Even though I loved my man and he loved me, and I knew that could not possibly EVER be wrong, I let people decide what I was and let them use those names toward me. Then, I realized the problem wasn't mine, it was all those other people's problems, and that is when I came out of it and just lived my life with the men I fell in love with. Since then, I ended six more marriages, but ALL of the men -- every single one of them -- loved me and they still love me today, because I am always so good to them all. Then almost two years ago, I met my current husband. Even though he was married to somebody else at the time, the two of us decided we were going to have a baby and so he knocked me up big time. With TWINS! I felt a little bad for his wife, who was a lot older but she couldn't help that, and there was no way she could win over me, and he divorced her and married me right before the babies were delivered. We have a wonderful life, and the babies are a huge, gigantic, major part of that, so my advice to you is to make a baby with your man, and let it be the thing that ends his marriage and your marriage, and that starts yours with him, because that is soooooooo beautiful. (And being honest, I think the fact that he's your father-in-law is even sexier and makes it more nasty and taboo.)

  • WOW!

  • Don't let him go! If he makes you as happy as you say: DO NOT LET HIM GO!!! And don't let your husband or your mother-in-law EVER get in your way!!!!!!!!

  • God you're just so awfully young to be involved in such a complicated grown-up affair, but you certainly seem to have your head on really straight about it and you know you're in love and you are totally pleasing him, obviously, so I say continue it for as long as you can, but just don't take unnecessary risks that would lead to your feelings being discovered by the rest of the family.

  • Age is irrelevant. Whether a person is young, middle aged or old, it doesn't detract from the fact, they're having or had affairs.

    I personally only agree with affairs, if the relationship a person has with their partners, are open one's.

    Each to their own :-)

  • Thank you, I know what you mean, but I can't turn back now cause I am in love with him, I want him badly I can't stand it! We are being very careful, and he has been talking with me about us on a regular basis. My husband treats me like okay but I don't feel he wants to move out our do anything like that. I am here now and will stay here and do whatever it takes as long as I can, just to be with my man, the man I love!

  • I really love the way you are conducting yourselves in this exciting, thrilling and TOTALLY romantic relationship! I've been reading gothic and harlequin romances for over 40 yrs and I have never read anything nearly so romantic as your life! It seems like the idea of having his baby is something you really almost HAVE to do and will make all of this even better! I say go for it and don't wait another day! So romantic!

  • ^ agree ^ i think she is soooooo right. and the only other thing i would say is that getting knocked up and then carrying and then delivering your father in law's baby after the tragic loss of your first baby with his son seems so right and it is just something you deserve for yourself. and i think he will want that for you too. i think the pregnancy will cure all the problems and make you and him happy whether or not you and him ever tell anybody who the actual bio father is. i say the same as her^. GO for it!

  • ^I agree with this comment^. It's incredible that someone so young could be managing such an incredibly challenging relationship, with so many obstacles right nearby, primarily your husband and your mother-in-law. But you seem to be bringing it off with great ease and amazing calmness and focus. Please be careful, but please don't give up on being with this man. If you feel it in your body that you want and need HIS baby (not just "A" baby, to replace the lost one), then discuss it with him first. Let him enjoy the conception -- and the delicious deception -- right along with you.

  • Tell him you would never surprise him with a pregnancy, but that you want his babies sooooooooo bad and that you physically ache for them. Tell him you want to have at least the first child while your both still with your spouses, and begin raising him or her right under everyone's nose, with both of you knowing the it's his and neither of them (or anyone else) knowing that. Tell him you know it's wrong to want this, but that it feels so right "because everything between us is so right, so how could this possibly be wrong?" If he's the kind of man he seems to be, he will want you to get off your b/c right away and start trying for a baby. Yes, the child will technically be illegitimate, but that will be a part of the thrill!!!!!! It sounds crazy but I think you will both actually love the baby more doing it this way than doing it the conventional way, because both of you are obviously verrrrrrry turned on by the illicit and taboo nature of what you're already doing, so a pregnancy just ups the ante. Go for it!

  • My husband's brother is 13 yrs older than him and if he ever gave me a chance to get with him I would be all over that man. He could do me in front of the entire family if he wanted me that way. Your lucky. Enjoy that.

  • Haha.. sounds like you wanna get at him bad, that's totally rad!

  • Well now you've really got me thinking more seriously about my daughter-in-law. We play around and flirt all the time but nothing sexual has ever happened (except for one long kiss last New Year's Eve, when she had been drinking a lot and I don't know if she even remembers it happening: but I won't ever forget it). I wish she were as sexy and confident as you. I wish you only good things with this man. He may be the luckiest man in the world, and he WILL be the luckiest if you have him knock you up.

  • Are you only attracted to her, because she's your daughter-in-law? Wasn't your wife appealing and young when you first met? Maybe it's the thought of being with "a younger women" that entices you

  • I really love the idea of having him knock you up. My middle child was actually fathered by a friend of my husband's, and I have to tell you, I have never in my entire life felt sexier than when I would climb into bed at night with my husband while I was carrying another man's baby inside of me. Yes, I felt kind of like a w****, but I loved that feeling. Delicious. The only reason to tell your father-in-law that you're getting off your pills is if you have some reason to believe that he WANTS to knock your sexy little ass up, and that he would love seeing you wandering around the house, in front of his wife, with his baby swelling your belly. And another thing you should know, or that was at least true with me, is that when I was planning my pregnancy, I actually got h**** to have that man's baby in my womb. Yes, I could feel the ache inside my womb, so h**** for that baby!

  • I like the things you say they make me feel, but I want whatever he wants but there are times i could do what you suggest and I probably would do it if he wanted me too, I wouldn't rule it out! But I want it to be just me and him and our own place, i wish it could be here but can't see that happening. I wouldn't care where we lived or how as long as it's just us, ya know?

  • She's right^. I got knocked up by someone outside my marriage, too, and it was the sexiest thing. He wasn't my father-in-law, but it was still sexy. The fact that this man is the father of your own husband makes your situation a thousand times sexier than any of ours. I really love your sexiness. Keep going!

  • I agree with the other lady: don't ever let him think that you're cooling off to him. Keep up the heat, keep up the attention, keep up the f******. I was involved with my son-in-law for over 3 yrs before his job transferred him and my daughter out of state......waaaaay out of state. Too far to go for a f***. So take advantage of the proximity of your lover, and never let him think you're pumping the brakes. Keep f******. And best of luck in your beautiful affair!!!

  • Thanks so very much for your reply.. I needed to hear that. I am crazy over the man and he and I are doing great and I'm having so much fun. Really, I think it's so b****** you and your son-n-law were doing it.. that's good I like hearing from your vantage point on the subject. Sry thou about you losing him, but I am sure he misses you too. Thank again <3

  • You're very welcome, and thank YOU for your sympathy. Yes, he and I do miss each other. Actually, I miss him far more -- FAR more -- than I miss my daughter. So, like I said, it's very important that you enjoy and take advantage of this time you have with your father-in-law. Make so much love, and make it so hard, that you and he both just feel empty after every time. Make him feel like there's just no possible way you will ever be able to get enough. Always tell him that you want more. And more and more and more and more and more. And even at those times when you can't make love to each other, frequently whisper in his ear, "I wish you were in me right now." Be a bad girl. Be everything your parents told you never to be.

  • Things are going so well between us and things are not showing any signs of cooling down sexually it's got me on a high all the time. So you know been thinking of my mother-in-law and how I can encourage her to cross over.. it I can get her laid by someone younger maybe she'll want to leave him and that way him and I will have a better chance of a future. What do you think?

  • I think it's too risky: there's only one good outcome and a hundred bad ones, all that work against your interests. If you did this -- and that's a very BIG "if" -- you would have to do it in a way that kept your involvement a total and complete secret, so that neither she nor your lover nor anyone else could ever find out that you were behind it. And if you did it, you would need to set it up so that you were able to get proof that it had happened, and then be prepared to use it against her as leverage to get your lover away from her. It sounds mean, I realize, but that's what's needed here: you need to start thinking this way, even if you haven't yet decided to start driving a long thick wedge into the heart of this marriage.

  • I know thanks I need a good wedge but haven't got a clue as to where to begin. Getting pregnant is a easy one, but what if it didn't work in my favor, or makes things crazy, I guess the only honest way would be to come out, while we are boning, and ask if he wanted me to have his baby, at least let him know I love him so much as to do it, let him f*** me pregnant, only if he wanted to!

  • Yes, yes, yes.....that is exactly the thing to do! That way he'll know that you aren't just thinking about yourself and aren't trying to blow up his marriage (at least not YET...lol) and that you want what's best for him. Let him know how you feel about having his babies (YES: use the plural) and that you want it to start while nobody will know he's the father. Getting pregnant and carrying his child while you're still married to his son, and while he's still married to his wife, will eventually be the sexiest thing you've ever done. Don't miss out on that opportunity.......for BOTH of you! He will love knowing that the love of his life (YOU!!!) is carrying his favorite child right under the noses of everybody in the family. But you are EXACTLY right about involving him in the decision. He will love, love, love having that conversation with you, and doing the planning for the conception; for example being involved in getting you off your pills, and in calculating your ovulation. But most importantly, selecting a special place or places for the two of you to conceive your baby (my choice would be the bed where he sleeps with his wife, or the one you share with his son, but that's just me). Anyways, you're on the right track, girl, so just keep going!!!! The more involved he is, the more he will love and appreciate you, and vice versa. Don't stop now! I think the holidays would be a wonderful time to plan and start your family. Make this holiday season the best ever for yourself and your man. YOUR man! Always remember that: he's already yours. Good luck!!

  • You need to touch him between his legs every day. You don't have to get it out of his pants every day, but you at least need to put your hand down there every single day, even if it's nothing more than cupping your hand over his fly while your husband and his wife aren't looking. Make him aware that your sexual attraction for him is not just a sometime thing, but that you want that c*** every day of your life, and you are thinking about that c*** every day of your life. And when you touch him there each time, say something either really loving or really nasty or really sexual to him so he knows the warmth and heat you have for him. You know his wife isn't doing that, so you do it. And one other thing.......find out from him what kinds of s** his wife refuses to give him, and make a point to do ALL of those things for him, setting yourself up as the better alternative to her as a sexual partner and, perhaps, spouse. If she won't do a***, give up the ass. If she won't give him handjobs or b******* while he's driving the car, do that. You don't need to tell him that you're doing a particular thing because his wife won't; he'll get the message. Just do all of those things, no matter how filthy you may think they are, so he has fewer and fewer reasons to have s** with that miserable b**** he's married to: you want him to realize -- on his own -- that he'll be better off when he's married to you. MUCH better off. Get to work, girl!!! GO GET THAT MAN!!!!!!!

  • Thanks I have started doing what you told me bout touching him when no one's looking, gawd it's such a turn on and he likes it I can tell cause he has started touching my butt. Another woman told me not to rule out letting him get me pregnant so I am giving serious thought to that cause I totally want him and the thought of having his baby seems the right thing it would be a part of us both.

  • Yes! You have just the right attitude and understanding of the affair and what it CAN produce! And I really really really LOVE the way you said it: the precious baby "would be a part of us both". That's so so beautiful and so I know that when your father-in-law becomes your husband he will love you even more for taking charge and doing what was best for everyone by having such a wonderful child that is part of you both. You are such a perfect wife and mother and when you finally wind up marrying your father-in-law and raising your child with him everyone will be in awe of you! Beautiful!

  • Then you need to go deeper. And you need to let HIM go deeper. I think this is so sexy, it's incredible. Do NOT stop seeing this man, whatever you do don't end things.

  • Just let things happen naturally between the two of you, don't press it to go in a particular direction. Always be the place that he wants to go, the refuge from his wife, the superior (and much sexier) alternative to her. Encourage him to think of you only in positive terms. Never make him feel guilty for not ending his marriage. Make the relationship all about the physical expression of love and loving, and make him feel like he's the most virile and most important man alive. Make him want you, and make him want to f*** you constantly. Make him happy. Then, one day, after some time has passed, you both can see if you want to be together permanently and publicly. There's time for that to happen. But right now, let the relationship evolve organically and don't add pressure to the process. Enjoy the fact that the two of you are creating a beautifully illicit relationship that few couples get to experience. F*** at every opportunity. Touch him sensually and provocatively even when the rest of the family is in the room, and especially when the rest of the family is in the room. Tell him -- repeatedly -- that he is a much better f*** than his son, or any other man you've ever f*****, and that you are so glad that God put you in his house so the two of you could find one another and f*** one another. And then f*** him. And then f*** him again. Don't ever stop f****** him. No matter what: don't ever stop f****** him. At one time, I had my father-in-law in this position, and I allowed my husband to ruin it. I've regretted that every day since. Don't you let anyone ruin this for you. Don't let ANYONE ruin it. Please?

  • Don't be so h****** yourself. Women like us are always going to be called ugly names, but consider the source: repressed, uptight, moralistic a-holes who don't enjoy s** and don't know anything about it. I have been a homewrecker before, and although I admit that I was uneasy about it the first time, once I'd done it, I found it to be so thrilling and beautiful and fulfilling that I couldn't imagine why I hadn't started earlier in my life. It's always a joy to know that the man between your legs is there BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE THERE, not because he "has to" be, but more so, to know that he would rather be between YOUR legs than between his wife's legs. That is a wonderful feeling. It's the feeling of winning. And one final thought: don't give up on that idea you had about letting him knock you up. That, too, is a wonderful feeling. All best to you!!

  • Oh thanks, I like your reply it's helps! <3

  • I really love the fact that you do each other while the rest of the family are right there in the house! You go, girl!!!

  • Well, they are not right there, we are being very private and careful about it. We get lots of time when they are both gone, or I meet him somewhere private outside the house.

  • You need to start f****** him even more. Don't even let him catch his breath.

  • Really sexy. Totally sexy. Don't ever stop.

  • I'm thinking you got married way too young! Maybe you got married because you were pregnant? Since you are living with your In Laws I have to assume your husband doesn't make very much money to live on your own. Now you are f****** the father in law and not trying to work the problem out with your husband. You have Two choices. Since you don't have a child to worry about anymore you can get a divorce and make better choices the next time. The Second choice is continue f****** your father in law with the possibility of getting caught. Maybe you are thinking if you get caught you and the father in law can move into together when his wife kicks everyone out of the house?

    I don't mean to hurt your feelings but you are a easy lay for your father in law and that's about it. You are vulnerable and he is h**** and if you think you two are going to live happily ever after, you will be very disappointed. You need to move on because at some point being with a man 30-40yrs older than you just isn't going to work out.

  • Thanks, but he isn't using me I can tell

  • I think what you're doing is super sexy and really hot. And I hope you will continue it, at least for the time being. You say you wish the two of you would divorce your spouses and marry each other. Do you consider that possible? I know you're unhappy with your husband, but would your father-in-law leave his wife? Have the two of you discussed doing that? It's a big step, of course, but it's not so big that it can't be done, not by any stretch of the imagination. The key word you used in describing this difficult situation is "love". Love would be the reason to create this upheaval in the family, but it would also be the best reason. Perhaps the only reason. Whatever you do, don't end the affair until both you and your F-I-L agree that it can't be sustained. I think you need each other, and you should have each other, sexually, romantically, spiritually and emotionally, for as long as you possibly can. (God, I can only imagine and fantasize about how incredible the s** must be in this pressure-cooker you're living in! Wow! WOW!!!) Allow the relationship to grow and develop more depth and just see what it produces. It seems certain that the two of you want to be together, and it seems likely that you are meant to be together. Don't end this before you know for sure. Love will make this worthwhile. I wish you luck. I truly do. Please, please, please let us all know what happens!

  • Wow, I like your positivity and it's encouraging for me thanks <3

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