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In too deep, but not deep enough
My confession is not something I am proud of but maybe just being able to publicly tell it will help me not feel so badly. At least telling it here I can remain obscure cause I would sure hate for family to find out that it’s me let alone what I have been doing.
I’ve been married now for about a year, I was 16 when I met my husband, in fact we were in HS together and by my seventeenth year our parents had given us permission to get married because I was pregnant. Being young and having no money and having no place to live we decided right after we got hitched we had to moved right in with his parents cause they had the room.
My honeymoon was in a furnished basement provided by my hubby’s parents which wasn’t too bad cause it’s a nice place.. clean too. Needless to say we had setup housekeeping with his mom and dad. We do everything they do, go almost everywhere they go, and watch TV together and play games, ect.. It’s been fun actually and they have made me feel so welcome and wanted outside my own family.
The sad thing is I had a miscarriage shortly before my 12th week and that was ** me to have such a loss so young. Anyways my hubby was of little comfort to me cause all he could do was run and have fun with his friends, and my mother-n-law was always too busy with her work and life to spend any time with me.. I was depressed. Since my father-n-law had his own business and worked from home, he was a wonderful comfort to me. I didn’t realize it at first, but came to realize later that he is a very gentle man with a great personality. He would talk with me seriously and help me through my sadness always encouraging me and telling me how smart I was and how lucky my son was to have such a pretty wife, he made me feel like I was appreciated. Frequently he would tease me and make me laugh and I began to depend and look to him whenever I needed anything. He help me through my loss, and depression and I was very grateful because he was there for me.
My hubby and I seem to always be kinda distant after we lost the baby, but we got along good so that made things easier to continue our marriage, and since his parents were fine with us living there with them it kinda made it simpler not to look for a place of our own. I was glad actually because I felt safer and more secure with his dad around and being under his roof.
Here is the thing, I’ll just come right out with it, my father-n-law and I have been having an affair. We are doing it right under everybody’s nose and no one knows a thing about it. We only have ** whenever everyone else is occupied, which is quite often. My hubby is quite happy hanging with his friends, and his mom is always busy with her life and her job, that’s when we make quality time for each other sexually. The ** is awesome and he knows how to please me better than anyone I’ve had, even my husband. He introduced me to what it feels like to have ** he has opened me up to so many things. My contribution which I happily offer to satisfy my father-n-law is my young body which he is totally addicted to. Life is so much more fulfilling with him, he’s a man, a real man, a caring man and I think I am in love with him because of those reasons I mentioned.
I am ashamed to say this, but I would dump my hubby in a heartbeat for his dad, I married the wrong man! No! I didn’t marry a man cause I never knew what a real man was until I met and lived with my father-n-law. If he would devoice his wife I would marry him in a second and make a life with him. At least then I’d know I would be loved and cared for.. I wish it would happen.
I know, call me a home wrecker, a **, a cheater, a **, a lousy wife.. You’re right I am all those things and I feel badly about it! I want to have a fulfilling and happy life and it’s right in front on me, but, it’s not up to me I don’t have the know how or the maturity to make it happen! It’s even crossed my mind to go off the pill and let my father-n-law ** me pregnant maybe that would help, but I won’t cause that would be a trap and he’d be displeased with me. In too deep, but not deep enough is an understatement to say the least.
I don’t suppose there would be any intelligent suggestions out there that would help me to feel better an to get me on the right path.. would there?
Don't be so ** yourself. Women like us are always going to be called ugly names, but consider the source: repressed, uptight, moralistic a-holes who don't enjoy ** and don't know anything about it. I have been a homewrecker before, and although I admit that I was uneasy about it the first time, once I'd done it, I found it to be so thrilling and beautiful and fulfilling that I couldn't imagine why I hadn't started earlier in my life. It's always a joy to know that the man between your legs is there BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE THERE, not because he "has to" be, but more so, to know that he would rather be between YOUR legs than between his wife's legs. That is a wonderful feeling. It's the feeling of winning. And one final thought: don't give up on that idea you had about letting him knock you up. That, too, is a wonderful feeling. All best to you!!
Oh thanks, I like your reply it's helps! <3
I really love the fact that you do each other while the rest of the family are right there in the house! You go, girl!!!
Well, they are not right there, we are being very private and careful about it. We get lots of time when they are both gone, or I meet him somewhere private outside the house.
You need to start ** him even more. Don't even let him catch his breath.
Really **. Totally **. Don't ever stop.
I think what you're doing is super ** and really hot. And I hope you will continue it, at least for the time being. You say you wish the two of you would divorce your spouses and marry each other. Do you consider that possible? I know you're unhappy with your husband, but would your father-in-law leave his wife? Have the two of you discussed doing that? It's a big step, of course, but it's not so big that it can't be done, not by any stretch of the imagination. The key word you used in describing this difficult situation is "love". Love would be the reason to create this upheaval in the family, but it would also be the best reason. Perhaps the only reason. Whatever you do, don't end the affair until both you and your F-I-L agree that it can't be sustained. I think you need each other, and you should have each other, sexually, romantically, spiritually and emotionally, for as long as you possibly can. (God, I can only imagine and fantasize about how incredible the ** must be in this pressure-cooker you're living in! Wow! WOW!!!) Allow the relationship to grow and develop more depth and just see what it produces. It seems certain that the two of you want to be together, and it seems likely that you are meant to be together. Don't end this before you know for sure. Love will make this worthwhile. I wish you luck. I truly do. Please, please, please let us all know what happens!
Wow, I like your positivity and it's encouraging for me thanks <3