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I hate being a mom
I hate being a mom! I love my kids and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them. I just hate my life as a mom. I feel so trapped in my life and marriage. My husband hardly has any time for me except when he works from home and I'm not busy on that day. Or if it's his day off. I have him take a day off for my birthday and our anniversary and that's all the time I get to have with him, 2 days a year. Sometimes when he works from home we will go out to eat, which is nice but he hardly makes an effort to make conversation. When it's sexual time on his work from home day I do stuff for him but he doesn't show any interest for me. It's basically all about him. We kiss but it's not really forfilling. As far as being a mom, I feel like I don't even belong in this family of four. I have fraternal twin 2 year old daughters and I just don't like being around them as I feel that I don't fit in as their mom. Husband is like the father and mother and their is no room for me in the family relationship! I just want to go do something else and not deal with how I feel inside when I am around the girls and him. The girls were born not of me, but through an egg donor and surrogacy. I have never felt like a true mother because I can't have kids. I don't think I've ever gotten over that I had cancer that I had to have a total hysterectomy from. I don't have a motherly instinct and I regret having kids. It has ruined my relationship with my husband. I don't feel wanted by him at all or wanted by anyone else. Very unhappy, trapped and sad. Even the inlaws don't care about me. I just has a birthday party for me and not a single person asked how I was, as per usual. It was all about the girls. I felt so alone and sad. Not even family cares about me, even when it's my special day. I had to ask my sister in law to take a picture of me, as she's a photographer. She had her camera by her side all day and didn't bother once to take a picture of me. I feel like a complete zero in all parts of my life! I feel so much pain in my life. I am considering cheating on hubby just to feel wanted by someone, but there is no one that wants me. At the gym I workout at, no guys except a couple of older guys talk to me whom are all probably married. And I'm not interested in the in that way. I just want a cute guy to say hi to me or to hit on me. It would make me feel good for once! I just want to be wanted by someone, anyone who is good looking. Or anyone. It ** being me. My life ** and it's hard trying to lose weight. I'm not a fatty but I'm not skinny. I am trying so hard to lose weight, that's all I can think about at times is food and losing weight. I have OCD and it's not helping how I feel about myself. I wish we never had kids, but was afraid of being on my death bed and having no one to care about me. I think that is why I wanted kids. Sad but true. It's just not that forfilling as I had hoped. If you want to ** up your good relationship with your spouse and have no time together, have kids! And for that matter our relationship pre-kids wasnt a fairytale either. I wasn't happy then and am so unhappy now! I wish I could leave the marriage and kids but I'd feel so guilty and like a terrible person and Mom, but at least I'd be free. Except my hubby is the only person in the world that cares about me. Not even my birth family cares about me like they should. I have no one else but hubby and that is where I'm stuck. I am trapped. I wish I had someone else in my life I could fall back on, but I don't I have no one else. Help!
To all the people who responded to this post shaming this person, and saying bad things about her that are false, as well as having no compassion or empathy.
Did you sell your hearts, cuz I don’t see you have one! She was going through a really hard time and why don’t you examine your own ** life, before you judge others?!? Do you gain pleasure from being nasty? I bet you do, as evidence of your posts show.
You have no fricken idea what this woman was going through! Me,me,me? Hmmmm..... Nope. To me, she’s just trying to survive the ** she was living in. It seems, you know this woman personally? So you don’t know **, no right to judge. Pity party? Going to the gym to get hit on? Really? She was there to get in shape.
It looks like to me that she is stuck with a bunch of narcissistic family members, who couldn’t give a ** about her. As well as feeling trapped, unloved, unwanted, umoungst other things! Your immaturity is totally apparent to me. Not the poster who poured her heart out. Do you stalk these posts, criticize and then leave devastation in your wake? Oh you sure do! The cruelty in some of the responses to her here, are as just plain evil.
You know, karma, will someday haunt you for those who said mean and cruel things to this very hurting momma/human being. And I know it will!
And to the posters who were kind, kudos! There is an actual heart beating in your chest, that carries compassion and empathy!
God, even though I’m not perfect, please, deal with their cruel and untrue words and actions, thank you.
You have a real hard0n for the word "cruel". Who hurt you? Who broke your tender little spirit when they didn't want to hear the Good News you were so desperate to shove down their throat? Who was so CRUUUUEL to *you*?
Good god, all I'm hearing here is "me me me". Too bad you didn't take the hint from not being able to grunt out future asswipers for yourself... now these two girls who have none of your genetic material have to put up with YOUR immaturity. They probably won't stick around to dance attendance on you when your frail old body gives out, either. So you have that to look forward to.
Read above, this is for you. I hope that someday you regret your cruel words to this woman.
I read it, little Xtian hypocrite. It hasn't changed my position one jot. I know what happens when you put a boy part into a girl part and wait nine months, unlike OP. And I know what generally happens to the kind of religious idiot who puts up self-elevating textwalls wagging fingers at anyone they disagree with. Your words could be construed by some as "cruel", in this age of people searching for any old reason to be offended and triggered. I think they're just boring, that's all.
Good thing Jesus loves you honey, because clearly no one else does!
Have an affair. When I got married I was so totally believing in monogonomy. Then I met this lady and we are having the hottest girl girl relationship. I still love my husband and I want my kid to have two parents. This is the solution.
No doubt you are in a very fragile place. But we have to put Negative Nelly to bed. Because you have a lot to be grateful and thankful for, it's just hard to see it right now. First let's acknowledge that you are a survivor. Cancer is scary and you are most likely very young to have fought the battle and made the courageous decision (whether it was by choice or necessity) to undergo a hysterectomy. That is huge, many people are not that lucky. Many of us have lost loved ones to that terrible disease. Next, you are a mother to two little girls. And those little girls only know you as Mom. They don't care how they got there and neither should you. There are many people who are unable to afford a surrogate or adoption. Whatever your issues happening with your husband right now, maybe you need to talk to him. See how you can hire an occasional babysitter and have a date night. Exercise is great regardless of your size. There were some other things you mentioned in your post and think you wouldn't be so sensitive to certain things if you were in a different head space. The most important thing you should do for yourself is to get some help. Join a support group and go see a therapist.
Your response, was quite understanding, and showed care to someone who was hurting very deeply, no matter how others may misinterpret and cruelly judge her, you didn’t. People come here to vent and sometimes things aren’t pretty, and it is helpful when people respond with kindness! Those who think, just because they are anonymous, think they can just dole out any horrible word/words that come into their brains... that there are no consequences... we are all eternal and connected as a human race. We all make mistakes and can say nice and mean things. Yours were nice. Karma, for all. Our words can be used to heal or tear down. We all need to be more accountable for what we say.
You sound like an ungrateful little sh it. Sounds like you are wealthy enough to have kids without the pain from your pu ssy. Others try and cant even afford that procedure.
Make an excuse to go to the gym and expect to get hit on? Its a freaking gym. People go there to work out. Not to find a f buddy. Maybe if you went to work out you wouldnt feel such a fatty.
Read above, I hope you find it heart to reflect on your cruel words, and have remorse someday
Judge not
Fatty? You don’t even know her! Wow....
You have your husband - some people don't even have that!
Either stop feeling sorry for yourself and appreciate what you have or leave before your too old to find new love, and good luck finding that - even if your young hot skinny most men cheat!
Parenting is hard , life is tough sometimes - there are no fairy tales!
Despite popular belief, there is no shame in feeling “sorry” for yourself! Don’t let anyone catch you feeling sorry for yourself, let alone your own self...if you feel this way. But, if that’s what you believe, then, let the same belief be handed back to you. I do hope that you see that feeling sorry for oneself, is just a way that adults and others instill shame in little children, in what I believe is healthy and normal! I’m sorry that you hold the belief you do. Life is hard, and in the end all we really have is ourselves and our beliefs and faith if we have any. Take care! We are all human, but words really do cut deeper, and hope that some common unhealthy beliefs can be eliminated.