I Should Stayed in the Water Longer

I tried to kill myself this morning by floating in the ice cold lake. Within 30 seconds my body hurt so bad. I stayed in as long as I could (about 5 minutes) then I got out. The pain was intense. My body was numb-feeling and felt detached when I tried to stand up. My heart was racing. It's been almost 12 hour now and 2 hot showers later and I am still not warm. I am not numb but I am still cold. I am so disappointed in myself. I should have been able to stand the pain. It was the one thing I didn't see listed when I researched death by hypothermia. Winter is coming to an end so I will try again soon, next time with pain killers on board. No one knows. Not my husband. Not my best friend. Not even my dog. I pray for a successful suicide next time.

Feb 12, 2016

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  • I'm so sorry you're hurting. There are people on here, people you don't even know, rooting for you. Please don't. That pain you felt, that's your fighter, your resistance and resilience. You got out because your soul wants to live. Listen to it. That's what will get you through and out. Everyday. Once you start listening to it, you'll be surprised at where it takes you. Don't know you but I'm pulling for you. You are not alone.X

  • Call this number: 1-800-273-TALK

    Or this website:
    LIfeline Crisis Chat


  • Dear Friend,
    DON"T EVER KILL YOURSELF. Life is precious and most problems can be worked out, even yours. Whenever you feel extremely depressed, call and talk to a loved one. Then go to the nearest hospital emergency room. They will take care of you there, allow you to see a psychiatrist and social worker. Please get into therapy and your life will surely improve. Take care now and let us know how you're doing.

  • Please for the love of god people, if your life is lonely or boring SO WHAT ..... And trust me it won't always be this way! What if you have to be reborn because of syicude and your next life is even worse because you didn't appreciate what you do have? Please pray to God for strength to get you through this trying time ..... You will know love someday!

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