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I'm a horrible wife.
On the day of my wedding last June I had ** with the guy I had been dating before I met my fiancé. He did me three times that day. Whenever I had broke up with him before that he told me he could come back whenever he wanted and do me and that I wouldn't stop him. I laughed at him then but then he showed up the morning of the wedding after not talking to me for like a year and he was right. I couldn't say no. I also haven't been able to say no since then whenever he comes back for more. I haven't told him no even once. Not once. I'm terrible but I can't help myself around the guy. It feels like my body was made just for his **. And he knows that. I don't love him at all but I can't stay off him. My husband is the love of my life but he has no idea of what I'm doing. I hate myself for this.
I bet you do love that & I relish shining my armor in being perceptive, being superior to other men & having adroit ability to humiliate my targets..
This is very well stated. Actually, it's incredibly well stated. My dad had the same problem with his second wife (my step-mom). She remained involved with her prior husband throughout her marriage to my dad and the guy humiliated both of them by openly and brazenly dating her and dictating to my dad when she would come to him. They dated right out in the open, and she wasn't very shy about explaining why: the guy had meat (according to her) that no woman could possibly resist. She claimed it was over 12 inches. And just exactly as this guy said above, my step-mom openly acknowledged that her ex was superior to my dad in every way that mattered, and that he was superior to all others as well. He loved humiliating both of them and he did just that frequently. I was glad to have been able to move out of the house before it got so ugly and lurid.
Not being one to worry although due to there being MANY, I wondered at times why I have never been approached by anyone I have humiliated. I refuse to believe there are THAT many masochists out there. It must be as I said, my capacity to project superiority in many ways rather than only one.. Thank you, I am adroit with ability to articulate as well..