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Men...........there's just no understanding them
I'll make this as brief as I can. I'm 24mwf, 5'10', educated, very social, natural blonde, thin, extremely fit, DD cup (via an augmentation that was supported and paid for by my husband), and men always check me out. My husband is 39, good looking, well-hung, a hard worker and a very good earner. We had what I thought was a good marriage until about 5 months back which was when I learned that he'd been cheating on me for almost 2 yrs with his secretary at work. He denies that, but I don't trust what he says anymore. What confuses me is the fact that she's a 45yo bleached-blonde piece of trailer-trash with several tattoos who is 5'1" and weighs probably 220lbs. She's been married five times and lived with god-only-knows how many other men. She has five kids strewn all over 2 states, though they are all grown now with the exception of a sixth child born in January of this year (I have good reason to suspect that my husband is that baby's father). If you looked at her and then looked at me, you'd be confused too, wondering why my husband would ** that instead of ** this. You'd wonder why he would do that even once, much less for 2 yrs. I guess I will just never understand men.
Maybe ur the gold digger
You're looking at this situation from an "either/or" perspective, while he's looking at from an "and/both" perspective. You look at her and think why would he -- or anyone -- select her when the alternative is me? And from what you've written, it seems to me that you are exactly correct. If a man walked in a room where you and your husband's secretary were waiting, and were told he could ** either of you, the man would ALWAYS ** you. 100% of the time, because he's going to make the high value choice. How could a man NOT make that choice? But your husband walks in, sees the two of you, and he hasn't been told that a choice is required. So, if he CAN do you both, he WILL do you both. Not together, never together, but sequentially. You mentioned he was well hung, and that is a key here: men with big ** almost always get the women they want, and plenty of them, and I've seen that in my own life and marriage. My husband has a big ** and he uses it to his advantage (and his pleasure). You have to decide whether or not you're willing to share. He's not going to stop ** this woman. She's obviously a nasty piece of **, and he likes that too much to stop.
This is a very difficult piece of reasoning to refute. I get what you are saying, but I don't have enough evidence to confirm it or deny it. He easily COULD believe that he can have us both. I don't think I can stand for it, and she isn't the kind of woman likely to permit it. My fear is that Brenda will force his hand with the baby (if it's his) and make him choose before I do. My guess is he'd go with her, because they have a family (if the little ** is his).
How about his maybe u don't pull ur weight in the sack maybe he has to do all the work mabye he finds u leeching off him financially.....marriage isn't natural for ppl...do u give good **? If not that could be the best answer
^^so true^^. the likelihood is that she is MUCH better in bed than you are. the simple answer is usually the right answer.
Sounds like he has a problem but don't we all? Maybe he a chubby chaser at heart. Then on the other hand some men just can't resist a loose woman.
Being married to you he should have resisted his urges. I'm sorry this happened to you.
I deeply appreciate your great kindness. That is so rare anymore. To your point, yes, Brenda is unbelievably loose and nasty. My husband would respond to that, because he responded to it with me while he was with his first wife, Tracy. I made myself a better alternative to Tracy, sexually and in other ways (the breast aug was a big part of that), and I won. Brenda is soooooo nasty and trashy and my husband might well love her for that.
I am on the fence here. You do come off like a bit of a full of yourself **, but I don't think you deserve to be cheated on. Obviously she holds some appeal if he has been sticking his d'ick in her. Can you live with that? And just for the record I suspect that isn't the only hole he's been fishing in, and it won't be the last. But hey...you got **!!
.... i agree with this commenter.....your husband isn't just ** the secretary......he's ** a lot of women......
Both of you are perhaps correct. I had the sense many years ago that he was seeing one of my friends. They both denied it, but if you saw them together, the way they looked at each other was as if they were ** right in front of everybody. He looks at Brenda even more ravenously.
She is better than you where it matters
Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. ^This^ is the absolute truth. This secretary obviously has incredible skills because she has so much experience. She knows how to take care of her men. And you need to know that, because she is absolutely going to use those skills to take your husband away from you. My guess is she's done this before, and she's certainly doing it here. If she has his baby and you don't, she'll win. I'm afraid your marriage is history.
The commenter below is an idiot. ??
It could be his mid-life crises. The fact that he's trying to hide this affair from you probably means that he has no desire to leave you for her. Also, she may be giving him something in bed that you haven't been. Give him time and space to get it out of his system. This affair will be over soon so don't get emotional and do something stupid. He's not going anywhere...............
^The mid-life crisis is a possibility. But it could have been when he married someone so young. He's nearing 40 and she's 24. Maybe he has more in common with his secretary. Regardless of looks or what you think as unattractive - that's who your husband chose. So he's getting something, you're not able to satisfy. What's going on in your marriage that would make your husband actually cheat on you and continue an affair for so long. Do you actually have concrete evidence that they are together, because it sounds as though you're just speculating. What are you going to do? Stay or go?
A mid life crisis is a poor excuse for that unfaithful excuse for a man to cheat on her.
Lol ok keep pretending that women don't cheat in the same frequency......
No, I don't have concrete evidence, just his being gone when he's not at the office, having his phone turned off so he can't be found, and the way they look at each other with such hunger, even when they are around me. Also, one of her friends at work told me (secretly) that she's admitted to being involved at present in an affair with a "married man", unnamed, and that the new baby is his, not the man's she's living with, and other similar characteristics. All her descriptors fit my husband, perfectly.