I bleed for art
In all of my works there is a symbol that I use, you cannot we it though because it is always underneath a wash of red. There is something special about this symbol though, it is always drawn in my own blood.
It gives me a feeling of deep connection to my artworks because of this fact, it's like a part of me is always with the painting and as a result, I tend to work much more carefully on my paintings and artworks than anyone else.
When I bleed, it is alway from my nose. I build up a fire in the grate and wait until the room is quite hot and my blood vessels are dilated; then I scrape the inside of my nose with a fingernail I keep long until I bleed.
Sometimes, it happens so easily that it doesn't even hurt, it just flows out like a river; pouring out so quickly that I have to catch it with a cup.
Sometimes I don't get much blood and I have to keep re-opening the cut to get enough which is annoying.
Sometimes it hurts. It hurts so much that I start to cry and wail, but I still do it because my artwork wouldn't be finished if I didn't mark it in my own special way.
Sometimes if I have excess blood then I make black pudding and give it to my dog to eat. I love my dog so much, I would die for her. It makes me love her even more and gives me a deeper connection to her because she has eaten part of me.
I don't get any sexual pleasure from hurting myself or from letting my dog consume part of me and us being together forever.
I would never dream of giving part of myself to anyone but my dog or myself. One, no one would ever consent to it and two; I just don't feel like I have a connection strong enough to give them a part of myself.