I hate myself

I want to die, I hate myself. I am a worthless piece of s***. I am a terrible house wife constantly behind on the house work. I am a mother of one beautiful, smart girl if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here to write this. I do not have the energy to do it all, Hubby works long and hard and what do I have to show him when he comes home from a hard days work? Nothing. Nothing! A messy house, a little girl crying and upset because I cooked a nice healthy meal instead of letting her eat the waffles she keeps begging for and me a sad ugly wife. I've let myself go to say the least I used to be beautiful, thin and happy. Now I am ugly, fat and depressed. I try to fake a good mood for when hubby comes home because I do not want to add "an ugly depressed wife" to the rest of the disappointments he has to come home to. I'm surprised he hasn't cheated on me or asked for a divorce. What do I have left to offer him? Nothing. I wish I could just delete myself from life. I know I can't because of my girl. How is it that every other woman on this planet can do these simple things but I cannot? What is so wrong with me? I hate my ugly fat stupid self.

Dec 17, 2016

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  • Please make your husband do his share.
    I am a husband and I do equal cleaning and raising of our daughter. That is my job. You are a good person

  • Pnd?

    Tell hubby to step up and take control. A mothers duty is to look after her daughter.
    A wifes job is to look after her husband.
    The husbands duty is to care for the family. To lead.

    The first thing he needs to do is to lift this heavy burden from your shoulders.

    The first thing he needs to do is hire a cleaner.

    Then give you a hug.

  • There is nothing wrong with you. You're just going through a difficult time. The first thing you have to do is take care of yourself. You can't take care of your child, husband, house or anything else until you take care of you. It sounds like you are very depressed on top of being totally overwhelmed. Call your doctor and tell him that you need meds to combat the depression. Second, put your baby in a stroller and go for a walk in the morning. This is going to be a very difficult feat because you're not feeling your best. But a walk gets those endorphins moving, you may be surprised at how good you begin to feel. The house, talk to your husband and get a housekeeper. Talk to neighbors and friends about referrals. Maybe someone can come in once a week and do different things for you...ie laundry and cleaning the kitchen/bathrooms..etc. Just something to give you some peace of mind. And then you can do some light tidying on days she doesn't come. The waffles.. sometimes you have to just give the kids what they want. But you can also sneaky maybe adding some veggies to the waffle batter..ie juice spinach, or carrots or even find a pea protein powder.. spinach and carrots are sweet, so you may be able to pull it off. Talk the pediatrician first to make sure that's okay. There are also tons of hacks online to sneak nutrition into your kids foods. Be kind to yourself. Hire a baby sitter for a couple of hours so you can get a facial or your nails done etc. and even utilize one and plan a date night with your husband. No one's perfect, you're doing what you can. But ask for help when you need it ..like now. First things first.. go and call your doctor.

  • Don't be so h****** yourself. My wife struggles with balancing our son against the mess and her other responsibilities. I try to help as much as I can when I'm home, but sometimes it gets away from both of us. I understand how frustrating it is when you can't keep up with responsibilities that are "normal," but I think lots of people struggle and just refuse to admit to anyone how hard it is for them. You're not worthless, and believe it or not, he would be a lot worse off without you. Even though you feel like the ship is sinking, it would sink a lot faster if you weren't there scooping the water out and throwing it overboard. Focus on relationships. Your husband and your daughter will forgive your meal choices and messy house if they can get what they really need from you, which for both, is likely just some quality time.

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