Good girl gone bad
I have been with my bf over 2 years and it has been such a roller-coaster ride! A lot of good times, but TONS of bad times. The beginning was so wonderful. I fell madly in love! He is sooo attentive and handsome and makes me feel beautiful. But as time went on, I've discovered his dark sides. He would drink and become a monster. And he is extremely jealous and insecure. I can't breathe because he always thinks I'm doing something. I would kiss the ground he walks on to keep him from fighting with me. I was constantly trying to prove myself even though I had never done anything wrong! I have dealt with some suspicious things.. i have found a womans bra in my drawer at his place, i found his ex gfs nudes he saved, he has been caught with "friends" texting in the middle of the night, he joked with a married female friend about sending nudes, he went on a "guy trip" to the beach and i discovered a photo of them with him hugged up on some woman! He has an excuse for every single thing. And him continuing to treat me like a queen is what made me give him the benefit of the doubt. We remained together and i thought we were over that part. But worse things came along....he became abusive.... he has choked me, hit me, broke bones, tossed me like a rag doll and was always sorry. I then began to resent him... so much that i found a new friend of my own at work. It started out harmless. He made me laugh and forget my chaotic home life. He was smart, attractive and had a good career. He was nowhere near my type so i thought nothing of it. Until we began to meet at bars outside of work.. we always had such a great time! I got to see different sides of him. And i began to open up to him about things i had faced. I know my bf acted like he wanted me so bad, but i didnt feel ** anymore. I didnt feel adventurous.. so i looked to this friend for that small spark in my life. One night, we got way too drunk and ended up spending the night together. Of course the inevitable happened. And as bad as i felt, i wanted it just as much! The fact that my bf had gotten away with every thing and i was so good all this time made my bad actions feel worth it! I felt he deserved to be cheated on. I ended up finding strength from this friend and left my bf. I felt like a new person. But then he moved away. I was hurt... and now im back with my ex. Things been better once we reconciled. He still doesnt know about my infidelity and i dont know for sure about his. We are a horrible mess and we will never trust each other. But we are so attached! If my friend came back for me, i would run off with him in a heartbeat.. I kind of get a kick out of thinking about the wrong ive done.. nobody would ever suspect it and i love it!Feb 17, 2017
You deserve death, as does your boyfriend. The fact that you have no remorse for doing the exact same things your boyfriend supposedly does, and even sleeping with someone else, makes you a complete hypocrite and a fraud, and I have zero sympathy for any of your "suffering".
I truly wish people like you and your boyfriend would drop dead and be gone from this world, permanently.
RUN and find your friend or anyone who will treat you right all the time, nobody should stay with somebody who hits them,
I know this and I have no clue why I stay!! The only thing I see in him is his looks...and i dont want anyone else to have him.. I know it's VERY dumb, but I'm slowly trying to find the strength to leave for good! I can only talk to my friend when he's at his new "home." Hes a firefighter and hes always working... our small talk and texts give me strength, but i need more help. I know I need to help myself, but the emotional and physical abuse has the better part of me. It's insane that I can think totally logical, but my actions are the opposite. Im so messed up. I'm hoping to fly out and visit my friend this summer... maybe it'll give me the boost i need!
Don't tell your boyfriend about your plans, If you do, he'll most likely try to stop you. By giving you a horrific beating!
You need to be calculated and smart about this. Ensure you pack your belongings, as soon as he's out of your shared home. Take precautions and keep your key in the door locks and bolt the doors, whilst packing - so he can't gain entry to the property unexpectedly and sneakingly, whilst you're packing.
As soon as you're done, book a taxi or have a loyal/honest friend pick you up and transport you, near where you need to ne, but not directly at your destination. This is a precaution, in case that friend isn't as loyal as you think. You don't want your boyfriend to get any inclination, you intend to leave him.
Once you've reached your destination, get rid of your phone after you saved your trusted contacts/not your boyfriends number. Start a life elsewhere. You're lucky really, having a good friend like that firefighter who is willing to accommodate you, until you get back on your feet, with a job and enough money to secure a place of your own.
Good luck and remember, discretion is everything. Don't give anything away to anyone.
Yes take some things go see him tell him why you are coming and you want to stay even if its only temporary, just don't go back . Set a date and walk away