I'm a chalemelon

I am 14 years old and female.
Does that make me more emotional.... probably.

So the fact is, I've never understood myself, who I am, my feelings, the things I do, none of it.

And to avoid showing the true self I am alone and inside I have created a fake me. The me everyone thinks I am.
A cheery happy girl, who yells a lot and smiles all the time.
I've created the person I wish I was and pretended to be that person. For 5 years I've been this person and it's not me. I can't stop being this person as much as I want to.
I've been suffering through depression and I'm certain I have anxiety.
I recently learned my personailty is INFJ
And it says some people with this personailty type suffer through being depressed and have anxiety and can portray someone they are not in the pubic eye

I don't really know what to do
How to be my true self
I wish someone would help me

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17 Comments

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  • There are lots and lots of different kinds of melons in the world, but there aren't any chalemelons. I think the best are casaba, cantaloupe, and honey dew. Just my two cents.

  • Stop drinking. Your too young.

  • I don't drink ⁉️

  • You're obviously drunk right now! Maybe even drunker than when you wrote this "confession"!!! You're drunk!!! DRUNK!!!!!!!!

  • Ok I'm 14 years old like I already said I don't drink I haven't had wine or beer or any kind of drug besides prescribed medication (from my doctor) I don't understand why you think I drink but I don't
    Even though I barley understand myself as a person and am often emotional and confused it doesn't mean I drink
    Right now your just making me really angry because you think I do
    Or maybe you are just trying to mess with me
    But I'm just a 14 year old girl in the 8th grade and my parents don't drink either so I don't see how you think I would even drink

    I'm sorry I didn't use any punctuation but whoever you are you are upsetting me
    And maybe that's your goal
    And if it is you must really have a sad life if all your doing in you spare time is harassing people on the inernet

  • *internet

  • "I wish someone would help me"
    If you are serious about wanting help, I would be happy to do so!

    I'm no licensed psychiatrist, but i do have a lot of experience in helping kids, teens and young adults with different kinds of emotional or psychological problems that they might be going through. Anything from helping young people like yourself on both this site and others, to working as a so called Support Coach at mostly high schools (a younger adult role model that the students can turn to with mainly issues that they may or may not wanna talk to their parents or friends about, but also with anything else really).

    I can see you've already gotten a similar offer from someone else below, so my help might not be needed, but I still gladly offer it in case you want it!
    I don't know who this other writer offering help below is, and it seems like a really lovely and helpful person. But please be careful not to expose yourself or make yourself vulnerable to predators, as that is a very easy trap to fall into and they especially prey on young, susceptible and vulnerable people like yourself! Unfortunately, some people will often intentionally make themselves appear nice and helpful in order to exploit you, so please be careful!

    If you do want my help or just someone to talk to, simply write your email (real or fake one) below as a reply to this comment, and I'll contact you. :)
    And if not, I hope things still work out for you!

    Best regards!
    B.

  • Yeh I have tried that myself and like to give it a go, often chances make us do this.

  • It sounds like you could use a good friend. Or maybe just a trusted companion with whom you're not afraid to elaborate on your feelings. Someone you won't worry will judge you or criticize you on anything. I'm known for having an open mind and set of ears if you're interested

  • Ok I am

  • Would you like to talk on a messaging app? Make things easier?

  • Sure

  • What apps do you have?

  • The concept of "being yourself" is a rationalization invented by people who have already discovered the way they want to live. Who you are is not set in stone - it changes as you go through different stages and discover what makes you happy and what doesn't. Right now, you are a person who puts on a face to appease other people. That IS you being yourself - because that is who you are at this point in your life. But that doesn't mean that's who you will always be. If you want to be something more than that, you have to discover it. My suggestion? Don't get hung up on whether you are "yourself." Just worry about whether the things you are doing make your life better or worse. Stop doing things that make your life worse, and do more of what makes it better. After all, I think that a better life is what you're really after in the end.

  • You got exactly what she meant in the first place! Stop being so g******* pretentious!

  • You are not getting any help on here. Go see a professional.

  • Lol you actually made me laugh

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