Inevitable Sin

I'm very religious. I'm 27, female, single, have a good job as a grade school teacher, go to church twice a week, and even teach Sunday school. I've dated guys since I was in high school, but I've never found the right man. Because of my religious beliefs, for years I refrained from having s**, because I believe that premarital s** is sinful.

The problem is that I've never found anyone who was marriage material. I'm no fashion model, but I'm decent looking. I'm a little thick in the hips/rear, with average b****, glasses, tall for a woman (6'2"), but I'm blonde, height/weight proportionate, and professional. The few guys that I liked always wanted to move too fast, or would get frustrated that I didn't let them in my pants. Eventually they would leave. The others left due to chemistry issues or because I was too religiously conservative.

I could feel the clock ticking, so this year I've bent my rules/faith. I actually dated a guy and screwed him on our second date. That was the day I finally lost my virginity. I admit that I really liked the s**. To have a moment like that fulfilled years of pent-up cravings for the flesh. I'm really h**** a lot of the time, which I hate. It was bad for the spirit though, as I felt soiled.

The guy who took my virginity has moved on, but a good female friend of mine offered to hook me up with a guy she knows from her work. I chatted with him and we had coffee together, and I like him. My female friend then suggested that we go on a double date with her and her boyfriend. She wants us all to go to the beach for a weekend. It sounds nice, but I get the sense that it will reek of sin. I know that my friend and her bf will be having s**, and my date will want it too. (My friend has always been a bit of a s***, btw.) Reluctantly, I said yes, so we're going next weekend.

Part of me wants to say yes to the Devil and just f*** all weekend and have o******, and part of me wants to resist. But I've resisted for so long and where has it gotten me? A lot of loneliness. This whole thing makes me conflicted. If I don't back out, I know that I will get laid, and in truth I will like it a lot, but it will be counter to everything I believe in my heart and soul. I might as well set up my appointment for confession to the priest in advance. This is a spiritual battle over which I feel little control.

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6 Comments

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  • If your faith is causing you this much anguish and self-conflict, then perhaps you should reconsider the extremity at which you follow it. Talk to your communities priest and a professional counsellor about it and then make up your mind if you are really desecrating your soul by having s** before marriage.

  • If you want to be f*****, I'll f*** you.

  • You need a man to take you and control you, dominate you, and ruin you. Surrender. F*** and be f*****. Stop waiting. You're wasting time. Give up the p****, and not just to one man, but many MANY men.

  • You put out barriers and expect others to conform to you.

    Stop denying your sexual health because someone told you to. Your reproductive organs and tissues need to be used. You are atrophing on the inside. Next thing you know you can't have a child because your left fallopian tube has shrunk and your right ovarian health is failing. Next thing you are producing embyios on the left only. The right stops putting out eggs so you have to wait double the time to conceive. So you miss it. So that means s** around the clock during the week you GUESS you are fertile.

    Reject sexual health and no baby for you? Your decision.

  • You've waited long enough. Really you might have already lived 1/3 of your life or less without getting c***. I hope you find the right guy, but casual s** is not going to send you to eternal doom. The Lord gave us this s** drive to use, not deny, especially when you're single.

  • I'm a Christian man, husband, father. Life became lonely. It took me a number of years to realise that my wife was no longer into me and was distancing herself from me.

    So much for Christian love.

    I felt there was something wrong with me. I became depressed as I struggled with trying to find what was wrong with me.

    Met another Christian lady. She had been dumped by her husband. We found life again.

    So I'd say go out and enjoy yourself. Life's too short.

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