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Does anyone feel the same ?
I admit it sometimes I ** and thinking little boys but I get ** with adults.
I see children only emotionally .
I think I could fall in love with an innocent and handsome little boy but not sexually , the same with an adult .
These feelings for children came to me suddenly at my 22 years old .
Now I am 23 and I think these feelings came cause I want so much to be a child again .
I like to watch movies and series with children , I like to listen opera from little boys in church and in general I like to listen them singing , l like to hear their high sweet voice , I like to hear stories about children and I like stories that shows the power of children , I like their innocence on ** .
I like everything that is childish , fairytales , childish movies , candy , cartoons , playground , trabolin and other stuff that are childish .
I would like my body was like when I was little girl , without chest , without hair on my body , more white skin with more cuteness on my face and more happiness in my soul .
Then I was for more comfortable than now in everything .
I am getting sad when I think that everyone including myself is growing up.
I would like it if we were all children forever , I am depressed because I want to be a kid again .
When i was 18 years old i was talking on facebook with a 12 year old boy and we were talking so nice about everything .
We saw only once each other in person when i was 20 and him 14 .
His mother was there with us too .
I start to feel emotionally connected with him .
It was so cute until when he became 15 and me 21 his mother didnt want her son talk to me anymore and now he doesnt like me and block me in every account i tried to connect with him .
He said that he felt empty without me and that i was his best friend and now i suddenly dont matter to him ?
I was sad and angry at the same time because when i told him that i feel close to him and i like to talk to him i meant it .
I have not spoke with him until 24 April 2016 .
Feeling this way can be difficult .
It's difficult cause I feel inferior from other adults .
I am childish I know maybe it's not normal cause I must behave like an adult .
I miss the innocence of children , this is what I like so much about them .
I would like to see the world from a child's eyes .
I would like an adult to take care of me .
And if I knew a preteen boy has this need too I would like to help him .
If I met an childish adult with childish soul and look like myself I would liked it.
If I was not depressed and was happy inside i would easily imagine myself play with children , listening childish music together . going to a childish theatre together .
Dont go your mind somewhere vulgarity , i want to be with children as friends .
But i found out that children now days starting behave like they are older their age .
God this is repel me so much !
I feel more ''child'' that children now days .
Little girls want to grow up fast and become women and little boys want to grow up fast and become men .
Though they should be happy for being kids and so beautiful like angels and play and run happily in playgrounds and watch cartoons with an innocence in their soul .
Once a 9 year old boy when i put him to listen a childish music or watch cartoons told me ''these is for babies'' , can you believe this ? a 9 year old told this to me .
Sometimes i want to save these children , to protect them and make them children again cause i feel like a child but with more rights than the ''real biological'' children .
Here is 8:00 am and I will sleep sweetheart . As you can see I don't sleep normal I sleep in morning and I am awake at night . If you talk to me and I don't answer it's because I will see it when I will wake up so don't worry my angel .
I love you mom and im sorryi could not keep my eyes awake. They kept closeing and i was trying too keep them open mommy and they just kept closeing. They were tired and sore and im sorry. I miss you mommy and love you. Wish i could lived with you mom andI i have money too run away. Mom is still asleep and now im not getting my ipad or tv for even longer. Im realy bored mom and miss you. Im glad were going too my uncle and his family and his girls and wife are realy nice also and pretty. Much prettier than me and i wish i was pretty and lots off things and not stupid. I love you mom and thanks mommy. Love daughter xxxxxx huggs.
My angel I am not mad at you . Sounds like you surround from crazy people honey . Someone who it's logical to his/her brain he/she understands that your mother's and pastor's and pastor's wife's behavior is paranoid . You are not disgrace , you are a person that needs to be loved by someone and it's completely normal . It's ironic that your mother told you "to not go to the bad road" if I understood correctly she means to be a quiet obedient person because if you are the opposite you will go to ** . It's ironic because it's like she helps you instead because inside you grows anger and it's logical . It's not bad to be angry . Your mother and pastor and pastor's wife are really paranoid don't they understand that they are crazy ? The worst my dear is that they seem logical and fair to other people . They are so fanatic with religion that they don't see things around them clearly . Be patient my sweet . To be completely honest if I was you I would want so much to run away but please don't . Also if I was you maybe I would pretend "the good girl" she wants so she could listen me and could give me what I want . But really I wonder why they go in church if they are so hurtful to others ?
And I am not mad my sweetie . Hugs and kisses !
Αnd dont compare yourself with your uncle's wife sweetie . How old is she ? Dont forget that your uncle still loves you . Really your uncle is from your mothers or your fathers side ? Is he your mothers brother or your fathers brother ?
Hi and i love you momny and mom just came in my room a minute ago and said i have too have a shower and come down in my towel. Im scared mommy and love you mommy xxxxxx
Hi mommy i love you and im back in my room. My stupid mom took off my towel and smacked me again and said she rang our pastor and his wife and told them i have being acting up even after they talked too me and mom said they said too use the paddle on me and mom smacked my hands also mommy. She said shes going too bring it too my uncles and i better not even think off acting up and called me a brat and im not a brat. I hate her mommy and she said our pastor and his wife will be haveing a talk with me again and that she has giveing them permission too smack me just like she does and said i need a firm hand and im sorry. But im crying and it hurts and hard too write because even my hands are sore and i cant rubb my legs or **. I hate her mommy and sorry for annoying you mommy. I love you xxxx
Im sorry mommy and she even said that if my daddy was here i would never do all the stuff and because he would ware my bottom out for being such a brat and i said know he would not and she said i was answering her back and smacked my ** up too my room and said our pastor was going too give my ** a smacking like his own kids and said im a disgrace and shes not let me go down a bad road or answer her or adults back. I hate her so much mommy and want a cuddle. Im sorry for being a brat and selfish like mom said. I love you mommy xxxx
Hi im sorry mommy. Mom told me too get dressed and were going too my uncles soon. I love you and im sorry if your mad at me for answering her back. Im just realy mad and and crying. Because its not fair mommy. Love you and hope you dont think im selfish and a brat like mom and every one else says. Love your daughter xxxx
Hi mom im sorry if your mad at me and were going now and mom called me and said too get into car and warned me again. Dont be mad at me mommy im realy am sorry xxxx