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Does anyone feel the same ?

I admit it sometimes I ** and thinking little boys but I get ** with adults.
I see children only emotionally .
I think I could fall in love with an innocent and handsome little boy but not sexually , the same with an adult .
These feelings for children came to me suddenly at my 22 years old .
Now I am 23 and I think these feelings came cause I want so much to be a child again .
I like to watch movies and series with children , I like to listen opera from little boys in church and in general I like to listen them singing , l like to hear their high sweet voice , I like to hear stories about children and I like stories that shows the power of children , I like their innocence on ** .
I like everything that is childish , fairytales , childish movies , candy , cartoons , playground , trabolin and other stuff that are childish .
I would like my body was like when I was little girl , without chest , without hair on my body , more white skin with more cuteness on my face and more happiness in my soul .
Then I was for more comfortable than now in everything .
I am getting sad when I think that everyone including myself is growing up.
I would like it if we were all children forever , I am depressed because I want to be a kid again .
When i was 18 years old i was talking on facebook with a 12 year old boy and we were talking so nice about everything .
We saw only once each other in person when i was 20 and him 14 .
His mother was there with us too .
I start to feel emotionally connected with him .
It was so cute until when he became 15 and me 21 his mother didnt want her son talk to me anymore and now he doesnt like me and block me in every account i tried to connect with him .
He said that he felt empty without me and that i was his best friend and now i suddenly dont matter to him ?
I was sad and angry at the same time because when i told him that i feel close to him and i like to talk to him i meant it .
I have not spoke with him until 24 April 2016 .
Feeling this way can be difficult .
It's difficult cause I feel inferior from other adults .
I am childish I know maybe it's not normal cause I must behave like an adult .
I miss the innocence of children , this is what I like so much about them .
I would like to see the world from a child's eyes .
I would like an adult to take care of me .
And if I knew a preteen boy has this need too I would like to help him .
If I met an childish adult with childish soul and look like myself I would liked it.
If I was not depressed and was happy inside i would easily imagine myself play with children , listening childish music together . going to a childish theatre together .
Dont go your mind somewhere vulgarity , i want to be with children as friends .
But i found out that children now days starting behave like they are older their age .
God this is repel me so much !
I feel more ''child'' that children now days .
Little girls want to grow up fast and become women and little boys want to grow up fast and become men .
Though they should be happy for being kids and so beautiful like angels and play and run happily in playgrounds and watch cartoons with an innocence in their soul .
Once a 9 year old boy when i put him to listen a childish music or watch cartoons told me ''these is for babies'' , can you believe this ? a 9 year old told this to me .
Sometimes i want to save these children , to protect them and make them children again cause i feel like a child but with more rights than the ''real biological'' children .

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  • Don't apologise my sweet .
    I think you are very lucky my angel because this man you met then when you were 11 didn't ** you . Was he your age or older ? I won't judge my sweet I just have curiosity . My sweet why your mother has this horrible ? Just because of your past ? I mean you told me when you were 11 it happened this situation with this man and when you were 12 happened this situation with a boy . I don't judge my sweet but I will ask , do you still speak or meet with some men or anything else ? If you do it your mother behavior is still horrible but she has it for a reason . I don't agree with her behavior on you at all . Except of she was so crazy that even without doing anything she smack you.

  • I drunk some off moms drink mommy and shes still in our neighbours and it feels nice mommy and shes in our neighbours drinking so i dont care mommy and at least i can drink and stay up till when i want when i live with you mommy and i cant wait. He was realy nice mommy and like my uncles age or something and he said i was the prettiest girl he knows and we were boyfriend and girlfriend mommy and boy in youth group I realy like is 17 and i hate him now because he said i was prettie and not stuck up like others in group and i let him do lots off stuff and put it in me and then he told them i was easy and bad names and mom found out mommy and they said i started it and im a bad influince and mom grounded me except for church and youth group and they all call me bad names mommy and she smacked me in front off the boys mom and dad. There all stupid mommy and i hate them anyway. I love you mommy and now your my real mommy so it does not matter and this drink is nice mommy and im glad you would let me stay up late with you anytime i like and drink all the time mommy. Love your angel girl baby xxxxxx

  • If you drink alcohol please stop my angel you will feel dizzy and maybe you will throw up and its a pity of your mother yells you again . In the same age with your uncle you said ? My angel you were really lucky . This man could be child molester but fortunately you said he was kind . Be careful sweetie with older men . They are not all men kind and nice . And some pretend that are kind and nice so they can get close to you . So you must be careful my sweet . If you will speak with an older man again you can tell me and remember that you will NEVER EVER accept to go out with a stranger without knowing him very very well . Its for your own safety my angel i won't judge you or yell you now . Hugs my sweetie !

  • And you are not bad influence sweet .

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  • My head is bit fuzzy mommy but drink is nice mommy and makes me bit happy and lots off people drink it mommy and you do it too mommy and its nice. Thats why i said when i live with you mommy i can stay up with you when i like and drink with you mommy and it be fun. I liked him alot mommy and he was realy nice and did not hurt me mommy it was nice because he said im his girlfriend mommy and he was like my uncle and it made me feel nice. I love you mommy and im scared mommy but im not going too let our pastor or wife give out too me or smack me mommy like mom said and i mean it mommy im going too call them names and hit him back mommy. I love you my new real.mommy and im realy your angel baby girl xxxxxx

  • Im sorry mommy and love you so much mommy and hugg you mommy xxxxxx

  • Im sorry mommy i realy am i even promise i am mommy xxxxxx

  • Please mommy im sorry and im not bad. I have money i give it too you mommy please i love you xxxxxx

  • Your mad at me mommy and i even said im sorry mommy. I love you lots mommy i wont do it again and i mean it mommy i promise. Your angel baby girl xxxxxx

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