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I hate my step daughter
I’ve never liked her. Something about her just rubbed me the wrong way from the very beginning. I tend to be very intuitive and great at reading people, and she just gives me a bad feeling all over.
The big problem? She’s 7. She’s just 7 years old. She has been caught in lies that a grown adult shouldn’t even be lying about. She was almost kicked out of school ALREADY for being a bully. She has been physically abusive to other children and she simply doesn’t care.
We have tried every approach and nothing helps. She just keeps lying. Her bio mom is more than in the picture and she’s a major part of the problem. She ignores the behaviour or just yells at her. When this kid was involved in some very serious behaviour issues at school, we didn’t know about it until a councillor called my husband out of the blue. His ex refused to keep him in the loop. She hates him, she hates me, and she is pretty much just an awful human being.
SD has been in therapy for several years now. She’s manipulated the shrink, or maybe the shrink just doesn’t care? The lies that this child spins are mind boggling, frustrating, and scary. I’m scared to imagine her future, and I don’t have to imagine it...it’s not looking good.
She’s a ** to my children who have welcomed her as their own sibling. My daughter (oldest) was DEVASTATED at our wedding because SD was so mean and nasty to her at the party. My daughter wanted to hang out with SD and her cousin (my daughters new “step cousin”) and SD told her she wasn’t welcome or allowed to hang out with them and to “get out of my face”. She’s just a nasty little **.
Husband sees it but doesn’t know how to handle it. He’s so wrapped up in trying to get MORE time with her and fighting with his ex that his daughters behaviour gets ignored or put on the back burner. We try to talk to her, we are not a “yelling” house, and all she does is tell us how bad it is at her mothers house...and then she goes to her mothers house and tells her how bad it is at our house. The difference is we know she’s doing this, her mother believes her (or at least wants to believe that our house is awful).
It’s just so frustrating. I don’t like her. I’ve tried one on one time with her, pedicures, shopping, etc, and all she does is go back to her mom and tell her how awful I am. I have my own two kids who are incredible people, kind and caring, and to see how mean and nasty this little girl is is just sad.
I never wanted to be her mom or be a mom replacement. She has a mom, ineffective as she may be.
If she’s like this at 7, the teenage years might kill me. Husband is fighting for more time with her and I’m dreading it. I don’t want her more.
Hay dad and were are you dad and my brother and mom are go out dad and im stuck here with my brothers girl friend dad hugs you dad and its not fair dad im you little girl dad and later they are all go out dad and my aunt is come over to mind me dad and its not fair dad they get to do lots of stuff dad xxxxx
** her! I'm sure she needs **. 69 her
This is a case of neglect. It is an abuse. If the bio mom isn't taking responsibility of her child's actions thats because the child doesn't know or have even realized what it feels like to feel cared, loved and protected. Yelling at the child will make it worse. Try an appropriate approach. Try to get to know her. In solving problems, you are forgetting the fact that you guys don't know about the each other. When you become friends it is obvious you aren't going to like it first but later on things will begin to make sense. She is only 7. This is the age kids learn the difference between right and wrong. Don't give up on her. She is a challenge but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserves to be loved.
Use your phone and record her voice ** about the bio mom's house. Save it to a computer. You could save a couple sound clips up.
You could do two things. Let her know it exists and ask for better behavior. She Wil lie and fight you and try the same back at you. Or BOOM no warning. Send it to the bio-mom explain she deserves respect from her child. That woman can decide to let the girl know and that she's caught. That or she keeps it secret and knows the truth.
Be firm and stand your ground. The next time she does something. Explain shes getting a spankin and then take down her ** and spank her and put her in corner with bottom on display for half hour. We would never allow our kids too get away with that behaviour.....