Venting about relationship problems 'cause I'm ungrateful

I need to be a whiney immature b**** and wail about my relationship problems for a minute. This is a 19 year old’s ranting, so yeah, I’m young, stupid, and I’ll sound ungrateful. But this is a confession site, so if you have a problem with it, then f*** off. I don’t post for you :)

Ever experience that moment in the conversation where someone says “Wha?” And you have to repeat yourself? Try imagining that 24/7. This is the most recent argument between me and my boyfriend. Picture a scene where I’m in a bedroom around 1:00pm, getting dressed. My boyfriend is standing in the bedroom doorway.

Him: “I’m going to nap for a while.”
Me: “Okay, but we have to go grocery shopping in an hour [Yes, he knew this prior]. So you might want to wait to nap after we come home.”
Him: “But I’m tired.”
Me: “Okay, nap for a while. I’ll get you up in an hour.”
Him: *leaves the room to play on his phone in the living room*
(15 minutes later, I come out to go into the bathroom. I see him playing on his phone. I leave him, and get ready. I come out after 10-20 minutes)
Me: “Didn’t you say you were tired?”
Him: “Yeah, but you said there was no point.”
Me: “I said we have to go shopping in an hour. Never said there was no point.”
Him: “Really? Isn’t that like the same thing?”
Me: “No…I even suggested waking you up in an hour.”
Him: “You didn’t say that.”
Me: “YES, I did.” (Getting angry).
Him: “I don’t understand. You said we’re going grocery shopping so I should wait. You’re the one who said that.”
Me: “That’s half of it. I also said that we had an hour until we leave.”
Him: “When did you say that?”
Me: “A moment ago, AND AFTER YOU SAID ‘BUT I’M TIRED’.”
Him: “You don’t need to yell.”
Me: “So, are you coming or are you sleeping?”
Him: “What?”
Me: “It’s been about a half hour. You coming? Or are you sleeping?”
Him: “You leaving now?”
Me: “No.”
Him: “Then I’ll be fine here for a while.”
Me: “That’s great, babe. But I need to know if you’re going with me to the store or not.”
Him: “…Nah.”
(I get my things and end up going to the grocery store early, without him.)

So yeah, I needed to get some drama off my chest. I know nobody gives a s*** about my problems, but whatever. I don’t give a s*** whether or not some guy f***** someone 10 years ago, or if a girl sucked off a dog. But stuff like that is posted here all the time. Let and let live I guess?

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  • Does he take any medications? If so there could be a reaction. Does he ignore you for 30 seconds and then responds? Partial Seizures or lighter auras... serious memory loss gaps where 2 minutes of tape up in the mental library is lost forever.

    It could be a condition or its that your mind is more developed than his. At 24 he may change and mature. Brain groth doesn't stop at voting or drinking age. Early 20s is Grown Up.

  • You talk in a confusing way.
    Right off you agree that a nap was fine. You established a time line. Then you commanded him that he should actually not sleep. Just stay sleepy waiting for someone for a hour.

    You started confusing him with 3 sentences where you contradict yourself.

    I go with him on the no point reasoning as it is an interpretation of your instructions in a passive agressive use of Maybe. Maybe , in that situation , is presumed negative, as it was issued to counter the first approval for the nap. Use more inner dialog because it was the Maybe comment actually caused the situation.
    Then in the end you left early and dismissed the whole deal while fuming about it and blaming the guy who didn't want to go. Or it was he was fine not going because you were frustrated with him. Coukd you keep quiet for the ride to the store? He didn't want to be berated the whole trip.

  • Sounds typical to me for 19 yr olds playing house

  • People just living together. Not a home yet.

  • First off, chill. Relax. No one is attacking you.
    Second, it's normal to feel frustrated about having to repeat yourself over and over. You don't have to explain yourself and you don't sound bitchy or ungrateful. So again, chill with the self-deprecation.
    It sounds like you two are experiencing some miscommunication, especially if this happens all the time. Though, to be fair, he was tired. When we're tired, our brains don't function normally and we miss a lot of obvious things.
    I didn't realize this until I fell for a man that works strenuous overnight shifts that have left him sleep-deprived. I was always frustrated because it was like he was there, but not there. It wasn't until I experienced a few weeks of little to no sleep myself that I understood what was going on with him. I had short-term memory loss, a hard time focusing, and plenty of brain farts.
    Obviously, I don't know the full story or your lives. I'm just providing you with a different perspective so maybe you'll be more forgiving towards him.
    If he has no excuse and really is just not paying attention just because, then maybe that's something to talk about with him. The more you hold it in, the more you'll resent him and it will eventually poison your relationship.
    Just food for thought because I've been there and done that.

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