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Adult Stepdaughter with learning disability ruining my marriage
I have been desperately looking for a place to find some kind of clarity about the ongoing drama my extremely overweight (5’2 almost 250 lbs), mentally challenged adult Stepdaughter is causing my marriage. My husband and I got married when she was 14 and literally within a week of being married she spent the summer with us. Since then it has been nonstop walking on eggshells because my husband is so guilt ridden from his past mistakes and babies her because he feels sorry for her due to her weight and learning disabilities. She is now 19 and just graduated from high school. She typically only comes to stay with us for maybe 1 or 2 weekends a month and during holiday and summer. I thought with this summer bring after graduation she’d be working towards getting a job or school or some kind of plans. At this point she would normally be going back to her moms but now everything is up in the air and I am completely left in the dark about what the plans are for her. When I dare to ask or question how long she is going to be here it creates s huge fight and my husband now barely talks to me. We go to counseling the other day and I am again painted as the jealous wicked stepmother. keep in mind we are in a 2 bedroom place with a 3 year old daughter of our own. His daughter comes here and takes over the room. I can barely get to my daughters things and she can’t play in there. The stepdaughter leaves her dirty clothes and trash al over the place. Because of her weight she has hygienic issues and creates a horrible stanch. I’m so frustrated and could give countless examples of her manipulation but acts clueless which her father more than buys into. I feel betrayed because I was led to believe that things would be different when she turned 18 but now it’s as if her own mother doesn’t want to keep taking care of her lazy dependent daughter. I am so tired of feeling horrible about myself for having these feelings. I am generally very generous and kind to people but after being taken advantage of and constantly struggling financially because of this stepdaughters added burden on us I am losing patience. This girl wastes every dime she gets. She received close to $2000 from graduation from various people and has blown through I djnt know how much on getting her nails done, going out to eat, etc I’ve told my husband she has no drive or motivation for anything. His response was to gave me sit down and talk to her and walk through things with her on the computer. I’m ** because how is this my responsibility? I took her to the gym 2/ weeks last summer to try to inspire her but all she does is complain. It’s aost as if she can’t do anything on her own. I’m at wits end
Yeah,start sha.gg.ing her!!!!
It's easy just start using her as a fucktoy
Wow you are a terrible person you want your husband to put a mentally handicap child of his out in the street? WTF is wrong with you how would you like your child having the same issues put in this situation ? can I say a bit selfish you married him with the the baggage deal with it.My wife works in homes for the disabled and you are a text book relative that if you could put her in some type of home where the family forgets about these people you would ! Here is some advice get over yourself people like you make this country the selfish hole it has become is amazes me that people will let people come here illegally do this do that pay for this for this group give money for that group but when it comes down to people own family that's disabled you just act like there a problem for a 19th century asylum . If that how you treat disabled people you have no business raising children. Also if she wasn't over weight would you treat her better? you also seem to have a problem with that to you must be some type of bigot you should rethink your life
Start recording parts of weekends.
Throw out or bag up torn or worn clothes of hers. Eliminate old stinky clothes. Refuse to waste water and detergent on them.
This is hard. Plan a few day's meals. Buy only enough to cook with. No snacking. It's so hard but the planning could save some money and plan 6 servings. Buy just enough groceries for the next two days of meals.
Divorce..