Is this bad?

I’ve never been close to my dad so my best friends dad was and has always been there for me, but it’s gotten to the point we’re i want him. i feel like that’s not right to my best friend since it’s her dad but i just can’t help it. i come home from school and i’ll fantasize about him and wish it were real. i’m only 15 so i feel like that’s so weird since he’s 34.

i see him a lot and whenever i’m around him i’m just always looking at him and how he turns me on sometimes but then i’ll get so grossed out at myself. i don’t know if it’s ok to feel this or it’s i’m a horrible friend for it. i wish he would eat me out or something since i just crave him so bad.

i could just try and stop maybe distance myself?

since i know he’ll never do those things and i probably wouldn’t do it either. i don’t know. i don’t know what to think about it. ive known him for 4 years and i wouldn’t want todo anything stupid.