Dilemma- married woman in an open relationship

I'm a married woman (late 30s), with 1 child, and have bf (late 20s) who is single. I live with my family and I meet my bf around 2 days a week who lives in a nearby city. We tried a discreet open relationship arrangement 5 yrs ago when I met bf at the time I went back to University for further schooling. My husband is ok about it and in fact, have already met him. My bf knows I'm married and yet he wants to stick around with me long-term and doesn't want to get a gf to be his forever partner to start a family with. He promised that he would love me forever and would never wish me and my husband to get separated but he just wanted me to love him too the same way. Actually, I do. I'm wearing the friendship ring he gave me together with hubby's wedding band. Bf's family know me as his long term gf (5yrs) but have no clue about me being married.

Recently, bf asked me when do I feel is the right time for us to have a baby and if hubby will be ok with it? I was thunderstruck with the question.

Personally, I wanted to have a 2nd child but it never happened. I'm not sure if hubby or I developed fertility issues after our first child but we never bothered to let ourselves be checked medically. We do have regular s*x and with bf, I make sure we do it with protection to be on the safe side. But occasionally, we do fluid bond on my safe days.

I'm not sure what is the motivation behind bf. Maybe he wanted an insurance that we can be forever or he really has no plans of raising a family with another woman so he wanted to father a child with me before I near the end of my reproductive clock. Logically, this is the best time, if we will do it at all. Deep inside of me, I love him and would be willing to give that to him, if Im still capable. But I'm so scared because I'm not the only stakeholder to this. I also love my husband too.

Before we opened our relationship 5 yrs ago, we (me and my hubby) already discussed the issue of the possibility of accidental pregnancy in such an arrangement. His position at that time was somewhere along this line... 'yes that is possible. If that happens we will deal with that when the time comes...'. I'm so confused right now and can't imagine talking to him about wanting to have a baby with my bf. Maybe he will understand or maybe it can wreck our marriage, I'm not sure. I love to but I'm scared of the consequences. Should we just go for it and see what happens because I'm not even sure if I still can? If it happens, that's the time to talk to hubb? Can it be considered an 'accidental' pregnancy'? I need thoughts and new perspectives on this.

Feb 5, 2020

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  • Dear Anonymous, I am a married man to my wife for almost twenty years. I had a younger (25 year old) black male (my wife and I are white) help me care for a rental property for several years. He was in very good shape, funny and often asked to see my pictures I had of my wife and kids as we talked about our lives through the day. I started noticing his attention he paid to my wives photos and he frequently commented on how pretty she was. Before long I was suggesting to both him and my wife that my wife should give him advice on dating because he often had questions on "what women want". Before long they were off to a budding friendship.

    Meanwhile, I was sure he was talking to her about sneaking into her panties. I found her email account open a few times as she showered before bed. He was discussing with her about her panties and how he'd "peel them off her with his teeth". I was so turned on knowing that she was visioning this young stud taking her. Soon I figured out her email password and often accessed her account. I was so happy to find out that they seemed desperate to have a further connection. My mind started to go wild from there. And their secret relationship took off from there.

    I would like for you to ask your husband if he ever fantasized about you carrying her boyfriends baby? Ask him while you are having s** with him. His p**** won't lie.
    Do it while he is entering you. It's the natural lie detector. Then come back here and tell me about it or email me at dwyoung533@gmail.com

  • Why don't you just talk about it with your wife so she knows you are on board with it? Or are you more excited that it remains an affair between the two?

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