Relationship advice, stressed, confused,need help
Feel confused about this person in my life, I don't even know wheather I'm in a relationship with this person or not, know him from my college days ,we would talk daily , and were very close friends,shared an intimate relationship as well, but everytime we make out, he avoids me for few days or a month, if I ask him for an explanation as to why he does it,he blocks. One day he says he loves me a lot, another day he says he never said so and I'm assuming it, other day he says let's be friends with benefits ,which I didn't agree to, after few days he says we are just friends.
Then once he sent me condam and i- pill tablet pics and told me that he slept with someone else because I never agreed to.
I asked him if he wants to be with other girl and I should leave, he said he loves me but wanted to experience s** and so was fwb with her, and then blames me that I did not agree for it so he slept with her. I felt bad ,I felt it's my mistake.
I was not ready for it, he blocks me or avoids me after a kiss or cuddle, I was scarred what he may do if I had s** with him again leave me for days with no calls and msgs, and then after days or weeks he will text as if nothing happened at all.
This hurts a lot, I gave my 100 % to this person, loved him a lot, would have never thought of any other person than him.
Do I deserve this, is it my mistake that I did not agree to sleep with him, is s** more important than anything when it comes to love and relationship.
He says he loves me a lot but can't marry me , as we are from different religion.
I just don't understand this entire thing happening in my life, I really need valuable suggestions, these things are mentally affecting me, I'm not able to concentrate on my career.
Please help me.