It's still awkward, Why?

45 years ago I was at a party with a close friend of mine and we were having fun, Went back to her place and her boyfriend joined, I was 18 at the time and we ended up having a threeway, It was full on and honestly was a lot more of me and her with him sprinkled in here and there taking turns on each of us as we pleasured each other, It was the one and only time, It all went well by all accounts...Multiple times each but it just never happened again, I met my daughters father not long after that and he was a little possessive and not into that stuff so we never got crazy, After we split I dated a little but then found religion and went celebate for 20 years and have not had s** since.
I still and always did get together with them once or twice a month and it is still awkward every time, I love them both as people and she is honestly my best friend but when I get together with both of them it's just...Weird...They have never propositioned me again or anything like that but it always brings back a flood of memories and I DO NOT want anything to happen again, Never did but it always throws me off for a couple days and I dream about it, Wake up aroused in the middle of the night and have to take care f it myself, I think about it during the day and just can't get it off my mind for about a week and then it goes away and I don't think about it again until the next time I see them....Why won't it go away?

27 days

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  • You’re celibate. That’s why you can’t stop thinking about it. Denial often leads to its opposite.

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