Toxic Relationship
Me and my boyfriend have known each other for about 6 years (2013-2018) I am 20 and he is 24. Throughout the years we've had problems with the connection between us, I have always tried to understand him and his needs. I remember he cheated on me in 2014 and confessed, that made me want to do the same, sad to say. I ended up also confessing because truth is i love my boyfriend so much for many crazy reasons. We tried to work things out again and honestly things got better, later on the years money has been tight for both of us and its been a task to juggle school and work. My boyfriend ended up having trying something new and bought a camera for photography but he just ended up linking up with women to take picture of (half-naked ect..) obviously that made me extremely upset because he ended up just lying to me and saying he stopped. I lost my cool one day because he lied to me 3x about it and I whooped his ** and broke his camera and yelled like a monster in front of everyone at the school house, it was so embarrassing for me but honestly i did not care (We broke up). I ended up talking to other people and he found out and got so upset "oh well". Anyways I hate being lied too so i tried to move on, but something would always bring me back. Then he tried to win me back and we ended being together again, probably 2 months pass and i find out he has an IG with all the pictures of the girls he had taken pictures of, I spazzed tf out. He tried to lie again and said it was old and he no longer has the password for it. I was so tired of the **, my crazy ** ended up wanting the password by any means and he ended up giving it to me. I deleted the whole account and the story really hasn't been cleared up because he sticks to his lies. Days pass and i was tired of being sad, i'm a really happy girl so being sad is nothing normal to me. When it comes to his birthday i did everything i can to make him happy and our connection closer. He then on has asked for his friends(A guy) account just to go on IG but never told me. When i found out and confronted him he lied and said never even went on it and i couldn't keep my cool once again I beat him up. Now I am so disappointed with myself and him because this is all going no where. I feel hopeless. Don't get me wrong he's a good guy always been there for me when i need him, but i really think he has a lying problem.
You're both super young. And learning who you are and what you like. Go find someone else. I think you're wayyyyyy over investing in what is probably your first relationship that you seem to have been in since 15. I'd guess you probably have some co-dependency attachment issues.
He takes you for granted.....he doesn't love you as you do...he is not going to change but as you said you have no intention of leaving him so just accept it and move on with this and one day he might realize which i doubt