Saw the smoke as I got onto I75 south from Leesburg

This woman was a mad woman at the Walmart between Tavares Florida and Leesburg Florida it was the Walmart that the people who live in the Villages shop at.
I can't remember the exact location because there is a Walmart almost every 10 miles. I was heading home from Mt Dora Florida and I had decided to stop at Walmart to pick up some fresh Kale for my Rabbit who was riding along on the trip. Its about an hour and a half drive from where I was located but an idea started to take hold in the back of my mind. I had money and I did not want to go stay at my Domicile which was located in Brandon Florida. I wanted to free bird it and just ride drive to ride and ride out. So if I was going to take an extended road trip I best have fresh kale for the day maybe until early the next morning. I hated it because I got a huge batch really good kale for a cheap price. It did not make since because even in a cooler its hard to keep Kale fresh once it becomes room temp puts out a horrible smell. I typically bought a small batch of kale or spring mix veg salad daily or every day and a half. Under normal conditions I would bring Boo inside the Walmart with me and put her in the carrier in the cart. It was Sunday morning and church had just got out so there was an unusually larger than normal crown at the Walmart. I was going to take Boo into the Walmart anyways but she was relaxing in her favorite spot under a partially open windshield sun deflector I had in the backseat. So I locked the car up and left the windows up because it was still fairly cool out and I had parted in a shade spot entering in the garden center. I had to make it quick though because in Florida the temp flux big time. If it is cool in the morning at some point it will be very hot and the temp goes up quickly. I figured I had about 30 minutes. I get into the Walmart and damn it was packed the grocery at this walmart was clear on the other side so I had to hike it and it was a big walmart with a ton of old people . I had to dip slide turn and go through all the people. I finally make it to the produce and I get the Kale I should have gone through the main check out and walked around because when I got to the Garden center there was one cashier working out there and she was working quick but the lady in front of me decided to question the price of outdoor fertilizer called 6-6-6 .
and some other product that was outdoors on pallets making the cashier have to go outside and look I was like I need to hurry up lady I have my pet rabbit in the car and I need to get going it took longer for me than I expected. She flat out ignored me and then she started talking to herself saying , Rabbit who has a rabbit for a pet. She was mumbling some other stuff but I could not catch exactly what it was it just sounded like whatever it was it was not nice. So she took extra long to pay for her items and move herself out of the way. When she walked out the door she said f****** a****** has a rabbit or something. It sounded like she said take his rabbit and go his ass back to Africa. I pay for my kale and it was a dollar for a huge bundle.
I get to the car quick turn it on and the a/c I give Boo some Kale then I decide to turn my engine off and open the hood to check my oil and scan over real quick a basic look over make sure nothing looks out of place because recently I had a tire changed and they did a 10 point inspection and when they inspected my brake fluid the guy forgot to put the cap back on it was right there under the hood but it was not put back on the brake fluid reservoir. Mistakes happen I check my oil and I topped it off with half a bottle of my special additive called motor honey. I was done and about to close my hood and this lady from the check out line who was slow she pulls up on the lane in front of my car she put her passenger side window down and beeps her horn. She yells out that's why they have mechanic shops. Your not suppose to work on your car in the Walmart parking lot I guess you did not know that. I had heard a car revving and revving up a few moments prior to her pulling up I put two and two together that it was the same b****. I looked at her bucket and her s*** was old I couldn't even make out the Make or model of the car it looked like some kind of late 80's Dodge Diplomat it had a little bit of an engine knock. I said "People like you and your s*** box car is the reason Florida needs to bring back Emissions checks because you just gave our ozone a beating and please mash out because the looks and sound of your car add's up to going very slow and I don't want to be behind your old junk of a car polluting . She said F*** you and she revved her car really hard 2 times way harder than she was before. I thought tyo myself poor car. She drove off and as the smell hit me I jumped into my car and sped across the parking lot to the Walmart gas station to fill up. As I was leaving the place to pull onto 441 I accidentally cut the lady off she must have been getting gas also. The Walmart Gas station is huge at this Walmart because I did not see her and I went to the cashier to pay cash. My drivers window was down when I cut her off and I waved at her before I realized it was the lady. I was on 441 and I heard a loud car like it was going to blow up come right up beside me and it was the lady she was crazy it sounded like she was driving her car in a low gear or she had some transmission problems. I decided to slow it down and let her go. She got in front of me in my lane and flicked me the middle finger. I had a feeling she was going to just stand on her brakes and try to brake job me. I was so sure of it I pumped my brakes. I got some distance between us and just as I imagined she stood up on her brake pedal and brought her car to an almost complete stop I went around her I said I am out of here I floored my car and put some distance between us. I was coming up to were the last intersection is before the I75 entrance ramp is and I get stopped by the light. I forgot about this crazy lady until I heard this ungodly noise it was like metal parts of a machine operating with no oil. It was horrible sound. The lady was behind me and I thought she was going to just floor her car and ram my car. I thought about making a right hand turn but her car stalled and I heard it turning over she was cranking it, when the engine started she floored it and it sounded like it was not fireing up on all cylinders and the engine was knocking bad. She yelled out in a minute my front bumper is going to be implanted into the rear of your pretty car and she continued with I don't care of I blow my car up in the process of wrecking your car. It sounded like she was having trouble getting her car into gear it was an automatic I was sure of. She was revving and revving and I could hear her transmission as she was trying to make it go and blue smoke was coming out the back of her car and everytime she did something with her transmission gear shifter it looked like a spark was generated somewhere under the front of her car. It looked like she was in gear and the spark under her car was now a small fire she smashed the gas pedal and that same moment I looked both ways and I ran the red light. I heard her car like it revved up and made it through the intersection but then a loud slipping clunk noise and it looked like her car buckled something broke and her engine was on fire I saw her get out of her car and she kicked the front drivers side fender and it looked like the car was on fire it was not until I got on I75 I looked to the left and I saw a plum of smoke going up into the sky. I set my car's cruise control and I made it to Naples Florida that evening stopping at a bunch of places along the way just to sight see it was a good time. I continued my journey for a few days i traveled along the Florida Bypass canal that goes from Lake Okeechobee to the Gulf of Mexico. Funny thing about it I know it cost a lot of money to build and all but I did not see one vessel on the damn canal.

Mar 20

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  • Omg, one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read. Well done.

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