Hammer to the head

On the sunny evening of July 9th, 2021, I was in the woods.
I was carrying a large kitchen knife and hammer in my pocket. I passed a woman (about 5'6, 125lbs, long brown hair tied into a ponytail.) Cannot recall the clothes she wore, except for a white jumper she had tied around her waist and black leggings. We made eye contact as we passed each other. As soon as I passed her by a few meters, I turned around and began to follow her. She walked at a brisk pace, so I sped up mine, now lightly jogging behind her. I was soon inches behind her and my right arm with the hammer
was held above her. I recall the only thought that occupied my mind,
"If you can do it, why not?". I struck her on the back of her head, specifically the Parietal Bone.

It was silent for a split second, quickly broken by a shrill scream. She turned around visibly confused. A look of terror in her eyes. I struck her repeatedly
on the head. We were face to face, as my hand kept swinging at her. I looked her in the eyes but felt like I was looking through her.
She screamed and reached her arms out to create distance between us. At one point, my hammer had torn a hole in her shirt and gotten stuck, but thankfully only for a split second. As soon as I removed it out she attempted to run away but I wouldn't let up so easily. She screamed the a phrase in Norwegian which I couldn't make out since I never learned the language when I came to live in the country.

Almost comically, she tripped on her own feet, just like in films.
When she tried to get up on her feet I remember hitting a perfect strike at the forehead from which blood spilled out. She kept running and managed to get away. I knew when to risk it, and when to let up. I don't blame myself as it was my first time physically attacking a stranger. The area was not far from my home as it took no more than 15 minutes to get home. I could hear sirens in the distance. On my way, I disposed of the now b***** hammer in a trash. I expected to see a report on either television or another news outlet, but there was no mention of what had occurred. It remained something only me and that woman shared the knowledge of. Her family must have known as she arrived home with blood and torn clothes.

I have no understandable reason for my actions. I don't dislike people, yet I find it amusing to cause them pain. I've got plenty of friends and am adored by teachers, therefore my relationships with people aren't a problem. Murder and torture of people excites me for a reason I cannot understand.

21 days

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