My sister ruined my family

When I was 12, I came back a day early from summer camp with my mom who was one of the camp counselors, and we saw something neither of us had ever wanted or hoped to ever see. My dad and my older sister were completely naked in the middle of having s** in our living room when we walked in on them. My mom and I were supposed to return on Saturday, but due to a severe weather forecast camp was cut short so we returned a day early only to stumble upon my dad and sister having an affair.
My mom was understandably p***** off and my parents yelled at each other the whole night while Kate and I waited quietly in our room. I asked her how long she had been "with" our dad and she said since she was 14. Kate was 17 at the time. It shocked me as we were really close and shared pretty much everything... everything except that...
My mom came in to our room, slapped Kate across the face and asked if she loved him, implying a romantic love. Kate sat up and boldly told her that "I do and I love him more than you ever have or ever could." I had never seen my sister like that and it legit scared me how unfamiliar to me she was in that moment. The memories from that time are still so vivid and painful.
My mom told me to quickly pack my things and we left that night for my aunt's house (she is the only living relative from my mom's side) two hours north of where we lived at the time. Nothing was said on the ride up except for me to not share specifically what happened, but rather that she had learned my dad "cheated on her" and she told me she was going to divorce him right away. I told her I supported her.
After the divorce was finalized, I was able to return to my old home and pick up all my stuff. My sister had already packed everything. My mom wouldn't go in so I saw everything. She had moved herself into the master bedroom with him, all the photos of my parents were replaced with photos of just my sister and my dad, and the whole time she was very cuddly with him it is was absolutely repulsing.
My mom had multiple breakdowns for a very long time and I saw her health rapidly deteriorate from the stress. I once asked why she never came clean or wanted me to come clean about my sister and dad's relationship. She said she still loved both of them and didn't want to see them face jail time for their actions. My sister was an extremely gifted singer and had a fairly successful music tour after high school. My dad had a reputation to keep as well and she didn't want to destroy that. It frustrated me terribly, but I respected my mom's choice. I also learned shortly before she passed from breast cancer five years ago, that my sister was the one who initiated the affair and was the one who lured my dad away from my mom. Too many details to go into here, but my mom recounted many times she caught Kate when she was 13 and 14 masturbating to photos of my dad, Kate walking in on my mom and dad having s** and refusing to leave three different times, and her declaring she would make him fall in love with her and cause him to leave my mom... in which she succeeded. My mom regretted not disciplining Kate and creating better boundaries as well as working on her marriage with my dad. Their marriage was always a bit rocky, and Kate found her opening and took it.
I finally ran into Kate a year ago 12 years after my parent's divorce. I learned that my dad died of an aneurysm a year prior. They never had kids thank goodness, but stayed together for 11 years after my parents split and counting when they had started, had a "very, very sexual" (according to her) for 15 years. I was finally able to ask her some questions and she agreed she was the one who initiated it and kept it going. She crushed all of my dad's doubts and pressed him to go through with the divorce.
To this day I am still disgusted by her and have some serious emotions come up when I see her on a billboard or run across her music on Youtube or Spotify. My mom was never the same after the divorce knowing that her daughter stole her husband from her. I lost a lot of my friends because of the divorce having to move to a new and unfamiliar city. I lost a relationship with a father-figure in my late teens that was needed. I learned through her that my dad had occasional panic attacks because of doubt over what he had done, but Kate said she always found a way to convince him to come back. I found through therapy that my strong s** addiction that arose in college stemmed from the trauma I experienced and tried to bury from the whole ordeal. I was sleeping around with men and women several times a week and never felt satisfied and felt something was lacking and needed resolution. It has taken some time to cut back and seek after healthy sexual encounters and relationships now.
I have only seen my sister on Youtube, or on signs since then and have no desire to ever see her again in person. Everyone thinks she is this spotless gem, but she ripped my family apart and we all suffered for her l***.

30 days

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  • If this is true, and seems dubious at best, run far away.

  • Oh boo hoo. So short story - there's nothing wrong with you.

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