I don’t know how much longer I can last
Life is a ** ** show, every single day I have to go around pretending everything is great but I feel awful. I’ve been clean for 9 months, that’s great but I just need to feel something. I’m going to get a tattoo in January just to feel something and then atleast I’ll technically still be clean. I’ve told my absolute best friend how awful I’ve been, that I’m not seeing any point in trying to get to the next day and she just doesn’t give a **, she has her own ** to deal with which I get but I just need some help. Idk how encouragement or something like ‘I love you, I’m glad you’re here’ instead of talking about some stupid ** youtuber I couldn’t give a ** about. I try and tell you things and you never listen but suddenly I have to hear you drone on for hours because they did something that a thousand people have done already. Great. I’m so happy for them for taking your money. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sick of asking for help. I’m sick of telling people I feel like **. I want to go away. PleaseDec 18
You don't have to pretend everything is alright all the time. From what you said, it looks like you are surrounded by the wrong people who don't really care about you. Maybe it is time to let them go. Find people who appreciate you. Care for those who support you. Congratulations for your 9 months. I know I'm just a stranger from the Internet, but I'm very proud of you.
Don't get the tattoo. You don't put a bumper sticker on a Mercedes Benz.