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Unsure how to feel about flirtation after breakup
My life feels sort of messy right now. I never had a real boyfriend but talked to many men online casually for years until I was 21 and one of those men became my long-term boyfriend who I was with in-person. He was my first everything, but after nearly 2 years we broke up a couple weeks ago. We truly loved each other and still do, but the relationship was destined for failure and despite the good parts, the bad parts were taking a huge toll on me. He was much older than me and it caused many issues. I decided I just wanted to be young and live, embracing my age for what it is.
I really wanted this to be a new stage in my life. I started watching a new show, reading a new book, I'm considering a haircut—this really feels like it helps. But I foolishly went back on a site where I used to talk to guys, just out of curiosity. After a day or two I told myself to delete my account and really start anew. But last night I connected with a guy I'm VERY attracted to. We've been sexting and flirting for 24 hours and he's been on my mind all day.
I can't help but feel guilty. Part of me is telling myself that feeling things out & exploring was the whole point of the breakup, but other parts are telling me that it's too soon and I'm doing something wrong. I really don't know. I've never been through this before.
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