Hate
I hate couples with a burning passion and maybe it's just my own loneliness since i have never had someone to hold me or kiss me at night but seeing a couple fills me with so much rage i want to kill them then myself but then i feel bad for thinking like that although not for long sometimes it feels like I'm justified in my way of thinking like if i went through with it i would be forgiven i know i wont though so i never go through with it but every time my friend has her boyfriend hanging out with us it's just almost too much for me i dont hate her though i just hate her boyfriend if i could i would beat him but i know how much she loves him and that hurts me alot cause she doesn't know how much i love her and how i would do more than him how i would be a better partner than him although that's a lie tbh im going to kill myself i always say i will stay alive for her but im lying i just want someone to love me like i love them before i die though even if i have to force it i just want someone to love me.
Jul 28
Yo, you have your mom :)