I think i still love her,
Ok, so when I younger I met this girl, we became so close and helped each other through alot of stuff that im not sure how I would of coped with alone.She was my best friends and one day we kissed and we became lovers, she was my first love and everything was so new to me. I remember early on in our relationship, on the bus home from seeing her just feeling blissful because I could still feel her lips on mine. We must of dated for nearly two years, I was starting college and she uni, and she just ended it. Just like that. we spoke for a while after that but i couldnt be around her because the feelings I had for her were so strong, now, nearly four years later we have started talking again, she is openly gay, I wouldnt class myself as gay, or even bi now to be honest I haven't thought about a girl in that way ever exept her, i have had boyfriends, loved them but never like i loved her. But now, we are speeking again and my feelings are coming back, I'm scared because i worry she will think i am weird, or she didn't see me the way i saw her ... or something.... Also, she told me she has only had one other sexual encounter with a woman, and a few with a men, the men i couldnt care less about but the woman? its driving me a bit crzy, she was vague when she mentioned it, and it wasn't right to ask her yah know? The fact that she has had only one sexual encounter makes me doubt she is looking for a serious realtionship.. and if we were to get together again i would end up hurt.... im not even sure if thats what I want... I mean...im straight. I like men, im not attracted to woman any way Exept for her. I realy dont know what to do, is this just because she was my first love that im feeling like this? Im confused... all I know is speeking to her is soething I look forward to, she makes me happy and i dont think i ever realy got over her. AHHHH!!!