I had an affair

I had an affair. I am in a sexless marriage and i answered an ad in craigslist by a man in my same situation. I met him and we had s** in a hotel room. Im freaking out at how dangerous that was. thankfully he was nice and not a serial killer! we texted and emailed daily after that. we met a few days later just for lunch and he told me he has strong feelings for me. we had s** again the next day and he told me he thinks he loves me. I loved how i felt when i was with him....i really like him a lot - hes a sweet person, but i dont love him. i wasnt ready to lose what we had, but i dont love him.
He told his wife about us. She begged him to give their marriage another try so we broke it off.
I felt like id dodged a bullet in a way, but i really did miss being held, i missed the s**, i missed him.
9 days later he texted me telling me he missed me and couldnt stand being without me. I should have just not answered but i was lonely. i called him and we talked for hours. we started texting back and forth again. i went to see him after work the next day and we made out in his car. we had plans to both take a day off of work and get a room as soon as we could arrange it.
the next day his wife emailed me. she confronted me angrily and threatened to sue me for alienation of affection and to confront my husband.
my lover begged me to just go ahead and tell my husband and leave for him. i couldnt. I was not ready to throw everything away for this man. I didnt love him...I mean, I did love him in a way...just not enough to leave everything and move in with him.
And i began to feel so guilty for the hurt i was causing his wife...i felt guilty that he loved me more than i loved him....i just felt horrible.
i emailed her back apologizing for the whole thing. She called me again and we talked....and talked...she told me how he does this regularly. How she has to monitor his computer and phone because he is a p*** addict and often has affairs. But I that I was the first one he ever wanted to leave for. she and i ended up actually liking each other. She said she forgave me. She has emailed me 3 times since then. Its just crazy, how can this woman want to be my friend? how can i actually be considering a friendship with her?

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  • You are a pig

  • You are considering being her friend for two reasons: first, because you want atonement for driving a wedge between her and her husband, and second, because you want her to see that you really aren't a homewrecking w****, but a decent, likable woman who also just happens to be a sexual dynamo: on the last score, you want her to see that his infidelity was just natural and not malicious. However, you aren't going to win either point, so you should give it up. As for the affair, you should also give THAT up, because it is CLEARLY doomed to fail on its own. Admit and acknowledge that obvious fact and end it. Today. If you are excited by cheating, find a man who is capable of both pleasing you and keeping a secret. And when you find him, DO NOT EVER TEXT HIM OR ALLOW HIM TO TEXT YOU. Same for email. Same for other electronic communication. All that s*** is waaaaaay too easy to track, and it will give you away every time. If you're going to have an affair, get smart about it and stop being so blatantly open and stupid. They call it cheating for a reason, and if you get caught, it shouldn't be because you weren't making an effort to cover it up. F****** outside your marriage is great fun. Getting caught isn't.

  • Fake ad. Looks like Psychology whores searching for more ways to create and catalog reactions; that makes it easier to control people. Jesus Christ is King.

  • Another insecure religious freak.

  • I cheated on my husband because he is not interested in intimacy....so if you think that makes me a horrible person so be it. I was faithful to him for 26 f****** years. he has not been present for over half of our marriage- Ive raised my kids alone and its been hard. judge me if you will. the reality is that I should have left him years ago.

  • Why did you do that for over a ladies mam he not worth a dime, you have a husband, get the picture you been use just another w**** that all you are.....I hope your husband fine out and boot you butt out his life, ask your self why did you s**** around on your husband, p,s tell us them everybody know.. what kind perso who you really are.... okay....

  • Text Text...email email...yadada...don't people even talk anymore? I mean, the phone is in your hand and you know the number. Why not just call??? I threw my cell phone in the river because of bullshit like this. As far as your affair goes...f*** you both. Anybody that hooks up through Craigslist is a loser.

  • You women sound decent and considerate; maybe he is bipolar. My wife would not take her bipolar medication, and ruined our (I thought perfect!) family with uncontrollable texting, child abduction to Mexico, false accusations of domestic violence, lies my own friends beleived (until AFTER thte divorce!), adultery, and parental alienation. Destroyed TWO families. Be proud of yourselves. (And try to help/believe friends victimized by mental illness!)

    Watch out, it's easy to fall in love. "Familiarity Breeds Attempt" Mark Plimsoll

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