My whole childhood, I was torn between my perpetually happy-go-lucky dad and my anxious, passive-aggressive mother. Both are still around, and they annoy me. But two years ago my mom had breast cancer. The whole time she was in surgery, all I could think about was I hope she dies just so I can have a reason for why I'm so f***** up. But she's alive and okay, although menopausal which is horrible at times and fine at others. I feel like a selfish douche, but as soon as they pay for college I wouldn't care if she dropped dead.