I'm glad it hurt them
J and I were together for 1.5 years when he broke up with me (1 week before my 18th birthday) claiming that his dad didn't like me as I was not Chinese. I took Chinese classes for him! After a couple of weeks he started asking for me back, and he confessed later that it was because another guy was on the scene. Stupidly I began seeing him again for a year before I agreed to make it official again. After that, things began to change - he was scared of losing his friends and started spending more time with his mates - everyday until 3-5am. His mum asked me to talk to him but I was also getting shoved aside. I tried to talk to him on several occasions, and he'd change for a few days, then went back to his partying ways. I'd had enough - I broke up with him and he cried, begging me to give him some time to get used to the idea of us being apart. I wasn't interested in anybody, so I agreed (for 4 months I stayed with him!). i let him think what he wanted, I barely saw him anyway. Then he started telling me about all the girls that had flirted with him. I wasn't jealous at all, and that was when I knew I was truly not in love with him anymore. THEN I was chatting to his friend. This friend said I was such a great gf, and that J had made the best choice. I wondered what he was talking about, and after a bit more probing, it turned out that when J had broken up with me the first time, it was because we had just started uni and seeing all these new girls made him curious. There was one particular girl he was interested in, and promptly broke up with me. He showed a picture of her to his dad who said she wasn't even as pretty as me, but he didn't care, she was a fresh face. Until he found out she had a rich bf and immediately came crawling back. J had always been too lazy to work, was taking money from me and his parents - he could never afford her and he knew that.
Then a work colleague C started asking me out for drinks. He knew I was "in a relationship" but persisted. C was so dorky looking, I felt bad rejecting him a third time, so finally I agreed. Just drinks. Then J calls me, furious that I was out with a guy. That night I ended it for good. J cried for ages and told his friends I cheated on him. To me, he said he knew I didn't cheat but he was still angry so when he cooled down, he'd tell his friends the truth. I let him have it his way, but I didn't expect him to play the victim as much as he did. so much that my "friends" didn't bother asking me what happened and took his side. Some friends they turned out to be.
2 weeks later, I started seeing C. He was such a kid, although he was older than me, and so nerdy-looking I wanted to take him under my wing and look after him. I wanted him to know what it was like to have a gf. Little did I know that I was in fact his 20-somethingth gf! if I had known earlier, I would have never gone out with him! But he was so sweet at the start, it was hard not falling for him. He paid me so much attention - the attention I was lacking, yet craving for when I was with J. For 7 months, everything was great. and then he changed - he started looking at other girls. He stopped telling me he loved me, didn't hold my hand, didn't kiss me. He'd often walk 5 metres ahead and not wait for me. Then he started calling me fat, even though he was short and tubby himself. I was only 48kg when he started calling me a marshmallow, and then worse things when he said I had short limbs and a long trunk. I put up with him FOR 3 YEARS because I was still hoping he'd change. Then I found a stash of p***. Then some flirty sms's to and from his exgf (which I didnt confront him about. Then 3 months later, some more flirty sms's to and from the same exgf and when I asked him about it, he yelled at me for going through his phone, then screamed "CAN'T YOU SEE IM DELETING THEM?!" Not before he saved them to his computer. I found those too. I felt so betrayed, but couldn't leave him. Over 3 years, I had spent most of my time with him and lost contact with most of my friends. I felt so lonely without him. I always tried to talk to him, but he'd just ignore me. I wanted to make him feel the hurt he caused me but he didn't even care enough for me to break up with him. After that, I stopped coming over and I stopped calling him. That didn't phase him and I didn't care. I'd started talking to my friends again, and was getting to know new friends too. Then I felt like I had enough courage to break up with him - he said "if that's what you want." I gave him a chance, I asked him if he wanted to know why. he said "if you've made up your mind, there's no point asking.
A week later, I started seeing someone new. A week later, C started calling, begging for me back. So unexpected! This arrogant p**** was finally showing some emotion after 3 years. I spent about 2 weeks, talking to him every night to explain to him what went wrong. He didn't know I was seeing someone, but my new guy knew everything. he was patient enough to let me sort things out with C.
Me and my bf have been together for a year. I'm so glad I let go of C, otherwise I would have missed the opportunity to be with this great and wonderful man! J and C really hurt me during the relationship, and it just pleases me knowing it hurt them in the end.