I have bipolar II disorder, and...
Before I went on medications, I was a lot more fun, clever, and creative. I knew exactly how to make my friends laugh, and did it all the time. Now I sometimes fear that I bore them.
I have to admit that I am a happier person in general than I was before the medications and therapy (there was some personal trauma as well).
But I feel so much more alive when I am having an episode.
I feel more like myself.
I used to have an incredible talent for poetry and for expressing myself in ways that got to people. Moved them.
I've been well medicated for a long time, and lost those abilities; lost all inspiration.
I ran out of medications for a while recently and I feel as though I'm now beginning an episode.
I wrote a poem, a good poem, for the first time in over a year tonight. I wrote words that actually meant something.
I also got those medications tonight. Sometimes I wish they didn't exist.