Don't know what to do with this life
There are too many options. I could volunteer overseas. I could move to a big city. I could move down South to be closer to my BFF. I could break up with my long-term boyfriend (now fiance) and strike out on my own, or continue to coddle him.
Right now, though my biggest dilemma is COMMUNITY COLLEGE or back to my expensive PRIVATE SCHOOL?
(No, I can't get financial aid. I tried. I can only take out loans. I COULD apply for scholarships, but I am talking about the coming SPRING 2012 semester.)
Either way, it's for art; although more specifically fashion design at the private school.
My biggest problem, though, is that I'm so disillusioned with college now. I don't feel *challenged* just TESTED. In HS, I often felt the same way but could make up for it by going a bit beyond what was asked (either in writing or visuals) without getting a slap on the wrist for it. I feel like too many college professors are so much more invested in getting their work over with, getting their paycheck and recognition for what they do than in nourishing their students' minds. Like if I don't do *exactly* what is asked of me, I'm wrong.
I was the kid in high school who found different ways to solve equations (the teachers didn't find it necessary to show all the ways, but only cared that we could *find the answer*) where as in college if I take a turn in a paper in the wrong section (when to me, STYLE and VOICE are so much more important than MLA format).
So anyway. The past THREE (3!) semesters, I'd go for a couple weeks, wonder why I'm paying for academic torture, and say f*** it. This semester, I'm either determined to stick to it, or leave altogether (for a break, at least).
So. Community college might help me ease back into the idea of conforming to someone else's wishes, whereas private school is really the education that I *want*.