Don't know what to do with this life

There are too many options. I could volunteer overseas. I could move to a big city. I could move down South to be closer to my BFF. I could break up with my long-term boyfriend (now fiance) and strike out on my own, or continue to coddle him.

Right now, though my biggest dilemma is COMMUNITY COLLEGE or back to my expensive PRIVATE SCHOOL?

(No, I can't get financial aid. I tried. I can only take out loans. I COULD apply for scholarships, but I am talking about the coming SPRING 2012 semester.)

Either way, it's for art; although more specifically fashion design at the private school.

My biggest problem, though, is that I'm so disillusioned with college now. I don't feel *challenged* just TESTED. In HS, I often felt the same way but could make up for it by going a bit beyond what was asked (either in writing or visuals) without getting a slap on the wrist for it. I feel like too many college professors are so much more invested in getting their work over with, getting their paycheck and recognition for what they do than in nourishing their students' minds. Like if I don't do *exactly* what is asked of me, I'm wrong.

I was the kid in high school who found different ways to solve equations (the teachers didn't find it necessary to show all the ways, but only cared that we could *find the answer*) where as in college if I take a turn in a paper in the wrong section (when to me, STYLE and VOICE are so much more important than MLA format).

So anyway. The past THREE (3!) semesters, I'd go for a couple weeks, wonder why I'm paying for academic torture, and say f*** it. This semester, I'm either determined to stick to it, or leave altogether (for a break, at least).

So. Community college might help me ease back into the idea of conforming to someone else's wishes, whereas private school is really the education that I *want*.

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  • YOU yourself will likely have to pay the bills for college, so YOU must decide. I've been there, got stuck w/ loads of loan debt after govt renegged on my financial aid package after I got started & then couldn't finish. Not degree & lots of debt. When you can't pay, you can delay payment, but each delay makes the payments grow larger - a huge "snowball-effect".

    You need to probably finish in a way that makes you able to pay off your loan debts AND maybe also helps you be adaptable to mulyiple career-paths. That way, if some area of work crashes, you can adapt & veer into another.

    You also might consider what work will allow you to keep a clear conscience. Yep, that's right. I know. In some work, as you get higher up, it gets more crooked &/or more tough decisions about doing what's right or possibly doing some wrong in order to keep your job. The latter not only hurts conscience but also can land a person in jail or prison in some instances. Some types of work are more clear of such problems than others.

    I wish you a wise journey!

  • For starters, you don't have to decide everything now. If the private school isn't working, go to a community college for the semester and take some courses that interest you. That way you'll still be in school, and not stuck at a 9 to 5 job. Try to find an internship for a fashion designer or fashion house. Fashion week is in April, right? That would be a great opportunity to see it first hand. It may not be glamorous, but you could gain some great networking contacts and get a taste for how everything works. Maybe in the summer time, go travel or teach abroad or visit your bff. The fiance..you both are just starting out and that sounds like something else you'll have to look deeper at. Right now, tiny steps. Oh and if your courses aren't challenging you, challenge yourself. Sometimes that is what you have to do regardless.

  • You want to go to private school, so do it. Who cares about the money when you're doing something that will lead to what you want to do.

    Don't worry about the "format" stuff much either. Talk to the instructors about how strict they are with those sorts of requirements. If style/voice is how you communicate the best, let them know that and that you understand that points might be deducted, but that you hope it's not too many. Also be aware that you won't always be allowed to "do you own thing" - meaning that in the business world, if you're working for someone else, you will end up doing things a way other than your own for the most part.

    Face it, if you have to do things "their" way in order to do what you want, who is really winning? :) You get what you want, and they get what they want. Maybe a little conformity won't hurt if the professor is really strict that way.

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