My older sister stole my best friend. I have no friends left since going into the high school(I'm a sophmore) They all just left one by one and now all I do is sit at home on the computer watching my neices. I have zero talents other than writing and I am not beautiful in any way. I have man legs with scars all over them because I use to pick scabs all the time. I quit volleyball quit choir, quit life. I don't have a job, don't have anything constructive to do with my time. I have no one that I can talk about my true feelings with. I keep a journal but I dunno it's different than telling someone. It's like I'm telling myself what I already know. I always have this vision in my head of who I want to be. When I'm day dreaming or something I see myself as a young woman, wavy brown hair, light brown eyes, perfect body, innocent, pure. Just the girl everyone wants to be friends with. then when I look in the mirror I see fat. Big face, ugly hair, ugly skin awkward. Nothing that anyone wants to be around. I have pent up anger that I can't release. I feel like its all about to crumble. The only people that will talk to me are ignorant and rude to everyone else. And they think it's funny. I don't want to be associated with them at all. I have no where else to sit at lunch though. I don't know anyone. I'm sixteen but I still feel like I act like a pre-teen. And my voice is weird. Complaints....Maybe I'm just a whiny little girl. I dunno but it's how I feel


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  • You are awfully young to be giving up on life. My advice would be to find something you truly love, drive yourself to excel at it, and eventually someone will pay you to do it. (For me it was baseball...and you might know my name)You will be amazed what happens when you stop judging yourself by your peer groups values, and develop your own. Good Luck Kid.

  • wow your the female version of me (i left my friends to sit alone was a difference and in highschool i saw too skinny) i'm nineteen now and i'm still jobless just got fat and don't like it so i stopped eating for a week and started exercising this week back down to an un-healthy 125 yay um just s**** the friends they distract you be nice to every one i myself never hid my scars if i was asked to show 'em i did h*** sometimes without being asked i didn't care the jocks and the geeks were nice enough

  • Well if you really quit life and all its activies it'll be hard for you to get out of this funk. Go back to volleyball and choir or pick up new hobbies that allow you to interact with other people. Not only will it help your social life but also getting out and doing sports will help you feel better about yourself because you'll look healthier. I'm sure you really see what you say you see (as far as your appereance) but that doesn't necessarily mean it's actually there. Sometimes we just get down on ourselves and its hard to see anything positive. So my advice get out there and get busy the rest will follow. It might not be easy but it's not impossible :-D.

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