I've fallen in love with an Inmate..

I write to inmates, who vary in ages 24-39.
I'm 16. They're fine with writing me, and they're all extrememly important in my life, as I am in theirs.
I write to 6, all of them men.
I've fallen crazy in love with one of them, the oldest one.
They all make me happy, but he brings out a passion in me that no one--not even my ex fiancé brought out in me.
He's fallen in love with me as well.
And no, he's not using me, none of them are. Actually they've all warned me about writing others in prison. I know these men pretty well, but only truely trust 2 of them.
Anyways, the inmate I love, let's call him Jay, wants to get his probation and program transferred to my state in about a year, when he's able to.
He's not incarcerated for anything bad like murder or drugs, but he had relations with a young lady under 18. Anyways, I want to be with him, but he's the oldest man I've ever been with, not by much but still, it makes me a little weary bout it. And what my parents will think. We can't physically be together until I'm 18, because of his probation rules.
I didn't realize how much I'd fallen for him until recently, my father found out about our correspondence and I had to cease contact with all of my inmates.
It's painful to be away from them, especially Jay. However I'm workibg on getting a P.O. box soon.
And I'm also worried about the future. I want to go into a professional type job, and I'm worried that having my husband (if we decide to wed) registered as a s** offender will affect my life job wise.
I don't really know what to do.
I do know though, that I'm not going to leave him. Because I really do love him and he's been hurt so much I'm so happy I'm able to make him happy.
I just...his absence is killing me.
And I miss all of my inmates, They mean the world to me...

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  • 16 and chatting on line with inmates? What are you doing?? Where are your parents? Don't you know men are in jail because of messing with jail bait like you? It is against the law for someone over 17 to mess with an 16 year old. Let alone talk to one.

    Jail guys are bad news. Really bad news. You are too young. YOu should be focussing on school and graduation. Please wake up and stop this inmate friendship nonsense. You can do way better.

    You had an ex-fiancee at 16? Who the h*** gets engaged at 16? You have some extreme low self esteem as well as mental issues and you need to get help. Speak to someone in your family or a school counselor asap. Before you get hurt. I don't mean get hurt from someone breaking up with you. I mean serious hurt.

    I'm telling you from the words of a ex-con. I've been in and out of jail for many years. The guys in prison are not pretty and 99% of them are in jail for violent crimes such as rape, murder, etc. Don't let yourself become one of those victims. Good luck

  • Not online.
    Through letters..
    And it's not illegal to talk to someone under 18.
    It's only illegal to have s** with them.
    In my state 16 is the legal age of consent.
    The men I write to are good people.
    And I wouldn't expect others to understand.
    And yes. Ex-Fiancé.
    And I don't write men in prison if their crime is rape or worse.
    i call the prison beforehand and ask of their background.
    You sure as h*** don't sound like an ex-con.
    And if you are, you must've done petty crimes, or you'd understand the loneliness a person can aquire behind prison walls.
    Especially in maxium security.

  • so........your 16. do you wanna be 17? 18? if so you need to quit this s*** and find a real person not a person who cant live by the rules because if you dont your gonna get yourself dead by one of these criminals. i know i know: you think you know them, but you dont. they have already proved that they cant be trusted to do whats right so what makes you think you can predict what theyll do to you when their out? youre not going to live long doing what your doing believe me.

  • How sweet....hopefully he kills your retarded ass in your sleep before any more of my tax dollars go to fund your future criminal family.

  • I'd hate to add to preachy comments, and I don't want to.

    I just think your inmates are a beautiful idea. A romantic idea. An exciting, consoling, inspiring idea that gives flavor and meaning and passion to your life.
    But ideas like this are dangerous to pursue all the way.

    You keep describing him, and the other men, as "inmates". You miss your inmates. Will you equally love him when he's not an inmate anymore, when you're not that girl behind the words who understands and listens to him, when you're both just normal people in a relationship?
    You have to experience that first to know. Do you love the man he is, or do you love the inmate he is?
    Do you love him or the idea of him? Do you know him enough? Please think about that. Real life is not as perfect.

  • I will love him when he is out, of course.
    I will love all of them when they are out.
    They're people. Not just numbers to me.
    I describe them as inmates because, well I can't just walk down the street and meet up with them.
    And this situation is far from perfect.
    He is far from perfect.
    But I love him and his faults because that's what makes him who he is.

  • Girl, you're 16, slow the h*** down. You've already had a fiance? Are you planning on being on welfare with five kids before you're even legal? Because if you don't get your head straight, stop this fantasy-based letter exchange with proven losers, you will be. Seriously. Go to school, do your homework and enjoy being a kid. You've got the whole rest of your life to explore the squalid and heartbreaking side of the street. Maybe if you focus on the rest of your life instead of just the romantic side you might end up with a great life full of opportunity and a relationship with a wonderful person who won't have to see your kids on visitor's day behind glass.

  • Im a junior in high school I get straight A's and I already have some college credits.
    My inmates are a major part of my life but not everything.
    And they are not losers, there are some people in the system that are, yes, but that goes for everyone, incarcerated or not.

  • I could give you a hundred reasons for you not seriously considering a relationship with anyone in prison, much less anyone in prison for statutory rape, but you wouldn't listen to any of them because you're a teenager and you think you know more than adults in general and your parents in particular. So, I'll simply say this:

    What you're doing is a huge mistake, and it's one you may well not live long enough to regret. Put an end to the fantasy of being with an inmate, and find youself a person who understands the need to observe the rules of the human road. You're living in a dream right now, and when you wake up, it'll be too late to lift yourself out of the danger you'll be in. Your trust in these men is misplaced. Horribly, horribly misplaced.

  • I hope this isn't a serious post. 16 and you have an ex fiance? What f****** country are you in? And if he's the oldest since you said they range from 20 something to 39 I assume he's the 39 year old. May as well round it up and say 40. That's disgusting and obviously he likes taking advantage of young women such as yourself considering that's why he's an inmate in the first place. You're a f****** child for f**** sake. Thank god your dad found out about whatever was going on hopefully he'll continue to put a stop to it until you're mature enough to realize he just wants to take advantage of another minor.

  • He's the one man that has treated me right. My ex fiancé, lets call him V, was extremely abusive and impulsive. And a cheater/liar.
    Jay has shown me nothing but respect in the year I've known him.
    Age is just a number. There are many many people in age gap relationships.
    V, for example, was 25.
    Age doesnt matter to me in the least.


  • Well, missy. HIs contact with you is incredibly stupid on his part. If anyone in an official capacity catches wind of it he probably won't be getting out of prison. And if he tries to be in your life after he's released he will be in violation of his probation, even if there isn't any s**.

    So, he's an idiot.

  • If the prison or jail finds out your age, they will put a stop to the communicating. In fact, I bet he has some kind of restriction on having ANY contact with a minor. IDC what state you live in, if he is in for having s** with a minor, he cannot or should not have any contact with you or any other CHILD!!!!

    I agree with the above, when he gets out, he will be on probation. One of the guidelines will be that he CANNOT have ANY contact with a CHILD.. And you my love, are a child!! H***, your a freaken baby still!! Do you even have your DL?

    I agree with you that not all inmates are bad people. Some just got mixed up with the wrong crowd or made bad choices, but you're 16.. And you THINK you're in love with a 39 yr old inmate who is locked up for doing things to little girls.. Come on!! Grow up!!

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