** EVERYTHING i just want a break....

I recently screwed up my life kind of bad i suppose.. i mean i know its not as bad as a lot of people but for spoiled rich kid americans mine is pretty ** low lol. but anyways some good things finally started going my way and right as i thought i was on top of the world my best friend starts dating this ** who changes everything between me and him. and i dont have a lot of friends because well.. frankly i think people ** in general.. life has taught me that. the company that i had an awesome job that would have carried me SO FAR went under and i was about to be homeless for the third time.... i recently moved back to the place i was born but i dont know anyone here (been almost 10 years since ive been back) and my best friend lives only a few hours away but with his ** gf and i dont know if i should even bother going to see them or if im just going to be ** off the whole time because i know how fake she is.. and im not a social butterfly so i cant just go somewhere and just be one of those people who just suddenly has a buttload of friends. i have a job that ** too.... i knew when i was getting hired just from the way my interviewer was talking to me that i wasnt going to like it but i hate myself a little more every day that i am there. i would walk out now but i like the money.. and i kind of need it anyways. i have some potential job opportunities once the holidays end but **.. i just want something good going for me again.. im tired of trying so hard and feeling like im getting nowhere..

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